I had the most vivid sex dream the other day. The kinda dream no one would want to wake up from. I was one of the founding members of the X-Men, and I was balls deep in mutant pussy. So, fucking was literally my superpower. I could cure the sick with my cum. Humans and mutants alike flocked to my cock. Including the members of the X-Men. So, in this dream, I was fucking Blink and Jubilee. Sparks were flying in the bedroom. I mean, damn. I never really gave a fuck about these characters in real life. But deep down in dreamland, I gave all the fucks. I experienced the most explosive orgasm. I woke up at that moment.

Oof. I was in the gawd damn plane that time with a string of saliva drooling down my chin, a visible buldge, and jizz stains seeping through my pants. I’m not hung like a horse or some shit, but boners are fucking hard to hide sometimes. Especially if you’re wearing loose pants. I locked eyes with the passenger next to me. She wasted no time handing me one of her pillows to place over my penis. It had the words “Best Mom Ever” on the pillow case. Of course it had. At that point I realized life was pulling out all the fucking stops. I was too embarrassed to really speak, but I managed to squeeze out an awkward thank you to the passenger. She shook her head as if to say “don’t mention it”. And then she said this fucking shit:

“Don’t worry, you’ve said enough in your sleep”

“I’m sorry?”

“I have a son who’s also into X-Men”

Words that will haunt me for the rest of my days.

TL;DR I came on a plane with the utmost shame.