On the eve of Christmas we put baubles on the branches of the trees, drink jurgennektaar, the salted eel milk and place our painted eggs on the windowsill. Then, when daylight is no more, the bell is rung. This means Vader Johan approaches. It has begun. The bell awakens Vader Johan from the bottom of the river. This is where he lives, in the castle made of children’s bones. A braid of 40 eels brings Vader Johan to the surface. Now you can smell him. His odor is that of cod and black licorice. He has the body of a walrus, the sharp teeth of a dolphin, and the legs of countless crabs. He plays a flute made of… you guessed it… children’s bones. And in our country, it does not matter if your naughty or nice, for all the bones taste the same to Vader Johan. Your only hope is to trick Vader Johan into believing you are already dead, and therefore not fresh and tasty. You do this by sleeping in your child coffin okay? And this is when you pray to the Mongoose King. “Oh Mongoose King, please protect my tender child bones from the jaws of Vader Johan, and do enjoy these eggs I have left for you. In Jesus’s Christ’s name, amen.” Uh oh, Vader Johan can hear your blood! Perhaps you are lucky and your window eggs and prayers have attracted the Mongoose King. He eats your eggs and challenges Vader Johan to a battle of dance. There is always the chance that the nimble and clever Mongoose King will be victorious. But tonight, he is danced into cream. And Vader Johan has his kinderbotfeest, the child bones diner. But the cream, this is the cream that we eat together with our families on 29 December. So a merry Christmas is had by all.

🎶Once you hear the story of Vader Johan🎶
🎶You must share the story of Vader Johan 🎶
🎶Or you’ll be consumed by Vader Johan 🎶
🎶Which is like dying but it’s worse!🎶

Will you share the story of Vader Johan?
Your child bones depend on it…