Aight so yesterday I decided to take the day off school because of the 2 hour lunch. Usually such a long lunch cool but for me I would rather shove my schlöngg in a toaster for because there’s no one to hang out with at lunch either because

A.strongman championship in the gym

B.most people keep a safe distance after hearing about one of my infamous “field days”

So I took the day off to get baked jerk off to one of my drawings. “Ye ol’ smoke n stroke” if you will. So Thursday I bought some shit called “dark shadow haze”. My guy said it was atleast 30% THC so I just shouted “YUP!” as loud as I could in hopes of cutting him off before he says some naggy cringe like “tAkE iT eAsY iDuNnO wHaTs In ThIs” like come on! Are you my plug or some bitch-moaning MILF? So on Friday I woke up, ate a big bag a gummy bears for breakfast. Went outside and smoked a full role. And from there I guess you can say that

#S H I T G O T R E A L

My dumbass forgot to bring water so I was hacking my lungs the entire time i was trynna get back up my apartment. And some gagglefuck would let me up the elevator because he thought I let Arthur Morgan sensually spit in my mouth (contracting TB) so I had to walk 4 floors +1 because I fell down just to get water. After flexing on flint Michigan by being able to drink water straight from the tap (no cup) like a dying African child. I went on the couch. And got convinced I got transported to another dimension when ever I closed my eyes for too long. Blacked out woke up. And ran to the toilet to puke brightly coloured gummy bear sludge. Waking my mum up. Here is a the best translation I can give of the conversation.

Me:(vomiting) it’s so pretty!

Mum: the fucks going on? OMG ARE YOU OK?

Me: I saw the universe! (Gags)

Mum: WHAT?!

Me: hello mum (vomits)

Mum: are you high!? TELL ME NOW!!!!

Me: …r u not?

I can’t remember what happened next but I woke up on the couch and my mum was pissed. Anyways she grounded me, searched my room to find my grinder, lighter, and some rolling paper. And now she’s taking me to rehab. If someone could kidnap me to keep captive in their attic/basement so I don’t have to go to square town. That would be much appreciated