You absolute fool. You whore of a man. You uncultured fuck of a cum guzzling clown. Have you no respect for donuts? A donut does not need to have a hole in it. In fact, the first donuts didn’t even have holes in them. Elizabeth Gregory, the mother of the modern donut, didn’t even put holes in the middle. They were filled with walnuts in the center, so that it would cook evenly and not be raw in the center. Her son, a ship’s captain, claims to have put the hole in middle so it wouldn’t have to have nuts. A donut is a donut because of who it is on the inside. It’s a fried piece of sugary dough, doesn’t matter if it’s rectangle or circle or even swastika shaped. You ever heard of a fucking maple bar? You are a fool and a blight on our species. A donut is a donut, and I don’t take kindly to your shape gate keeping.

You sick bastard.