911: 911 what;s your emergency?

man: Yeah, uh, so I-I need a clean up service. And a doctor or whatever.

911: Sir, are you injured?

man: Uh, I think so, but I can’t really tell what’s left…

911: What’s left of what?

man: My wife was in the bathroom…so I figured I’d just go in the sink. And I slipped on my own piss, caught my dong in the sink hole…I tried to pull myself up, and hit the dang switch, got the disposal turned on.

911: What…what? man: I just ground up my own dick!

911: Are you serious?

man: I just ground up my own dick!

911: Oh my God.

man: The disposal has disposed my dick all over the walls!

911: Sir, help is on the way.

man: Aw, ma’am it’s like a Tasmanian Devil went buck wild on some spaghetti in here.

911: Sir, if you can unlock your door, the EMT will assist you.

man: Aw man, it’s like a slip ‘n slide from hell. I’m passin’ out.

911: Sir? Sir?