“Twerking,” making your ass cheeks clap, shaking your ass; none of this is sexy. It’s gross. It’s trashy strip club behavior.

Whenever I see a girl twerking, the words that come to mind are not “God damn, girl” or “Fuck, she’s hot!” It’s “Daddy issues” or “Future baby-mama.”

Girls that have a nice hip/waist ratio are doing themselves a disservice by posting nudes of themselves having a seizure on the internet. Give your audience a nice oblique view of your cheeks without the seismic activity and you’ll look much better.

And don’t get me started on little kids twerking…