Ive been really wanting to talk to someone about this but I literally cant so I’m coming here. Okay so, I lived with my cousin’s and grandmother when I was a young and when i was a literal child (like 4-5ish) me and my cousin would play “house” where we basically “had sex” I was to young to remember if he actually stuck it in or if we just like grinded. But I moved to a different town so we never saw each other anymore and it ended obviously. (Just wanna say before I keep going, I loved fucking my cousin) Then when I was like 7-10(I dont remember) we got kicked out of our place so I had to stay with my cousins again and of course we started “playing house” again, but this ik he actually stuck it bc I have a vivid memory of him saying he was going to do so. I also remember we did it outside in the woods behind his house lmao. Then ofc when I moved back in with my parents it stopped again. And now I’m 17 and I stayed at my grandmother’s house for like 2 weeks and my cousins live with her, so I’m sure u know where this is going. Honesty I didn’t think anything was gonna happen bc we’ve grown up and are old enough to know that it’s wrong. But one night me and my cousin were watching Netflix in the living room, then he asks if I wanna go smoke and ofc I said yes, anyways we smoke then go back to watching Netflix, right? And I have my legs on his lap bc its comfy, and he starts rubbing my inner thigh and he’s slowing inching his way up to my “thing”. He then like fingers me through my underwear(I was wearing a skirt). Anyways I ended up gave him a hand job and he said “u wanna taste it” so I started sucking it, bluh bluh bluh. Then couple nights later were on the couch again and we were cuddling and I could feel that he was hard. I didn’t do anything but I was turned on lmao. Anyways he started grinding, then y’know one thing led to another and we fucked. And I think I have feeling for him even tho I know its wrong and disgusting, and I am very ashamed of myself, but there’s nothing I can really do about it. And the worse part is I wanna do it again.

TLDR: me and my cousin have been fucking on and off again since we were children.