TIFU by giving myself a hickey on my forehead with my gf’s dildo.

This happened yesterday but I will be living with the emotional scar for the rest of my life, and the physical scar for a few more days.

As a late but generous birthday gift, I bought my girlfriend her first dildo – a whopping eight incher. It arrived earlier in the day, before the time for appropriate shenanigans, so as soon as we opened it, we decided to proceed with some more SFW fun.

We aren’t peasants so we got a *suction* dildo, so of course we did what any aristocrat would do and stuck it on any available surface. This started harmlessly with the furniture, the walls, and whatever other random objects were around. Soon enough, we got bored of that, and started exploring more… exotic places. Namely my forehead. With a good *thwack*, I stuck it loud and proud as a glorious silicone unicorn horn, and took some fun pictures for posterity.

After a few minutes of good wholehearted laughter and enough dicking around, it was time to move on. What I failed to realize was that I might have stuck it a little *too* hard to my forehead, and it didn’t come off with a quick tug. A few pulls later and my second penis was still gripped to my face. After enough work to make a plumber proud, I managed to yank it off. Some more laughs and we were done.

Later, after my gf got a good look at my face, she paused and told me to look in a mirror. I came face to face with the consequences of my actions, the plunging of my forehead. The incredible suction paired with many tugs at the skin left a sizeable bruise on my forehead, about the size of two quarters. I’ve spent today hiding away from my roommate, and leaving my hair down.

I can never go outside again, lest my shame consume me.

TL;DR Stuck a dildo on my forehead and sucked my third eye open.