Hello, my name is Obama, and welcome to my thesis on dark energy. As we know, dark energy is what is causing the universe to expand at an increasing rate. I believe that this can be attributed to the growing human population. You see, since before the beginning of mankind there have been naturally occurring bruh moments-the creation of the moon was a total bruh moment, for example. The issue here is that bruh moments create energy, which exerts a force on space time itself. This was controlled until humanity harnessed the bruh moment’s power and began to use it, which caused the universe to expand at faster rates. Even then it was relatively controlled until the human population exploded, eventually reaching billions, resulting in countless bruh moments per day. This exerts tremendous force upon the universe, causing it to expand extremely rapidly. Eventually this power will drive our very species to extinction. This is why I, Obama, have decided to thin the human population. I have released a virus among the population so that anyone who does not know my last name will immediately die, saving the universe from its own expansion. This is former 44th president Obama signing off.