I teach high school science, and it’s safe to say that I don’t enjoy teaching every student. Last year, we had a particularly obnoxious, moronic, and entitled bunch of baseball players. These guys were pretty much killing time in high school until they could go join a frat and continue to storm the shores of douchebag beach at some SEC university, likely double majoring in tailgating and homophobia or something.

One kid, let’s call him Chad, was the alpha douche. He was a talented player, and somehow got away with everything. At least for a while. Enough complaints of Chad using racial slurs and sexually harassing girls had landed him in probation, with one strike left.

On this particular day of class, Chad and his legion of assholes were sitting in the back of class doing pretty much everything they could do to be disruptive. We were about to take a test, so I needed everyone to be quiet. While they were taking the test, I walked around the class to check on my students. When I walked behind the moron brothers, I crop dusted the entire team with a silent but deadly fart. It was rancid to say the least. Chad starts laughing and writhing around in his seat. He completely loses it, and is yelling at the top of his lungs about the smell.

So I kick him out of class for being disruptive at the exact moment that the principal walks by. The principal has had enough of Chad’s shit, and suspends him.

It was glorious. My most obnoxious kid got suspended for smelling my fart.