Have you ever considered reconstituting something more complex than milk? These just-add-water blends can be quite tasteless. I’m interested in something more substantial.

Tell me, have you ever done much work with jerky? I just don’t know what it is about the stuff, perhaps it’s the coarse leathery texture, or it might be how hard I have to sink my teeth into it in order to yield a prize. I find it intoxicating.

Most ‘people’ consider the cow to be the finest source of such meat, I disagree. The animal’s flesh, while tender, has no life to it. These cows are made to eat, walk and sleep when and where they are told, not unlike human children. No. I want meat with a life worth living. Hopes. Dreams. I want my plate to tell a story.

Does the breadth of my palette shock you? That’s not surprising to me. You omnivores all the same. Tasteless goons who rely on celebrity chefs and the FDA to tell you what to eat. I consider myself to be of a different caliber. Have you ever asked yourself why I don’t eat red meat? The truth is more complex than you could even imagine.

I seek the perfect meal, and to do that, I need the perfect meat. One from a creature with a life well lived, but with meat young and tender. She’ll be hard to find, but I digress.

Before I enjoy the main course, I will first muster my seasoning. It is to that end that I starve myself of the inferior flesh of lesser beings, why not one drop of red blood has crossed these lips in the fifteen long years since I made my pact. When the day finally arrives, and my meal lies before me… I will Hunger