I am a social democrat.

I wake up and brush my teeth. I roar at the mirror to practice my dominating demeanor when destroying globe twitter kids. I leave the house to go to work. On the way I continue to feed my rage by reading the Wall Street Journal. Their fiscal conservatism makes me punch random strangers on the street that I suspect to be supporting austerity in the name of pragmatism.

I pass by the union building on my way to work, where I perform my morning prayers to Clement Attlee and Henry A. Wallace. I pray for bitch ass cucks to never stop challenging my opinions on Reddit. They will never stop getting their shit pushed in by me. I enjoy smelling their tears in the replies. I would never want this rush of dopamine that I call a hobby to cease. These soy cunts cope by claiming that I take my political ideology too seriously.

After my prayer, I walk to my job. My coworkers hate me, as I spent the entirety of December claiming I had something special I would gift everyone, and on the last day before our break, I gifted everyone a box that contained The Entrepreneurial State by Mazzucato, Capital in the 21st Century by Piketty, Three Worlds of Welfare Capitalism by Esping-Anderson, and Our Revolution by Bernie. They didn’t even act grateful at the site of it, so I loathe them back. “Why the hell do you care so much about those white guys who lived like 100 years ago,” their brainless asses ask. In the future, they will be seething when I and my comrades take power in this country and change the US flag to include a rose in the canton. You can imagine their sobbing at the site of such a banner. The social-democratic America is imminent, and my enemies know it. This is the reason they sleep frightened.
I leave work, thrilled to get back to my real passion of yelling at people on the Internet. I know that this will make my country social democratic. I believe that every bit counts, and that this is definitely not a dubious reason I thought of to justify me killing my youth arguing with Redditors. At 11:21 PM, I face the wall of my bedroom that has a massive photo of the fallen Prime Minister, The Honorable Olof Palme. I salute and stay staring at the picture for one minute. Then I sit down in my computer seat again. “ROSA FUCKING DESERVED IT,” I say in the voice chat of some communist Discord server. The people in these voice chats get triggered, and immediately begin explaining why that is not true. I don’t care of course, and I fall asleep listening to their counterarguments.

I close with the following quote: “I may appear white, but in my heart, I am a socdem.”