Obligatory sorry for the format, first time poster, on mobile. everyone is way over 18 now

8 years ago, freshman year high school gym class.

Around 40 of us were playing badminton and my gym partner missed the shot and I screamed the n-word at him because I was stupid and thought “hur hur saying the n-word is cool” only to say it a LOT louder than expected to where it REVERBERATED throughout the gym, silencing everyone, ceasing everyone’s movements. Everyone’s heads snapped towards me and I just freaking stood there with my racket in starting position for what felt like freaking eternity. I don’t think anyone including the coach really knew how to handle this situation since it came from a short Asian girl who was typically known to be super quiet so we all just awkwardly turned around went back to our games????

So yeah I never even uttered the n-word after that.

Sorry for run on sentences it’s just this memory still keeps me up at night oh my god someone release me from this hell