ATENTION ALL

This is a story of love, intrigue, and romance with a certain redditor and myself. The name was u/awkwardtheturtle and being a horny turtle raper was his game…. One late afternoon, during my regular walk from church back to my house I noticed a peculiar sound. A squishy, repetitive sound with lots of snorting, almost like animal sex. little did I realize how close of a guess that was…I pulled back the bushes covering the sound, and LO! There it was, a small boy named Ronald (who I would later get to know as u/awkwardtheturtle) was aggressively humping a dead, small turtle. Discusted by the combination of necrofilia and bstiality I took a step back, repulsed. But then a thought came to me…”this poor boy needs help! Companionship! A lover. And so I dragged the snot-nosed sobbing lad out of the turtle and into my car where I drove him to my house. We began making out (I out of pity, him with lust) the minute we got inside. The poor boy had never known what love was like with a human. I made the commitment to give him those exquisite feelings tonight. I forced him onto the bed, the poor mumbling, stuttering, snot nosed piece of shit! He could hardly talk he was so excited! We began making passionate love immediately, but something was wrong. He could not insert his penis in! I sat him down on the bed and through sobs he told me, “my…my doctor says my penis is to small to ever have sex” feeling terrible for the poor, wretched, snot nosed piece of shit, I sucked it for him. He kept mumbling something that I didn’t understand until it hit me. He was repeatedly saying, “Adolf, oh Adolf, yes, yes, YESSSS” only then did I realize that u/awkwardtheturtle was a neo-nazi. I immediately stopped and kicked him out. I never saw from or heard from him again.