Hey guys, did you know in terms of human and Pokémon breeding, neither Vaporeon or Umbreon are the most compatible for humans? I’m actually quite disgusted at the amount of misinformation going around this community relating to them. They’re actually both outclassed by another one of their Eeveelutions, Glaceon. Both genders, too. Let me explain. Glaceon is 2 feet and 7 inches tall in height, giving it the perfect composure to fuck. It weighs approximately 57.1 pounds, giving it a small enough weight to move around during fucking, but also enough to not feel too light or too heavy when you’re using your dick on it. Glaceon’s stat spread is also incredibly versatile for sex, with incredible Defense and Special Defense. It has lackluster Attack, but the best part is its Special Attack. You’ll see why later. As an ice type, having such good defenses is incredibly rare. You also might be thinking, “but Ophelia! Your dick would freeze inside of its puss-puss!” This is not true! Here is its Pokédex entry from Pokémon Sun, circa 2016. “It can control its body temperature at will. This enables it to freeze the moisture in the atmosphere, creating flurries of diamond dust.” Glaceon can control its body temp at will, so if you don’t want your dick to be frozen, you can create the perfect environment for dicking it down by telling it to change its temperature! This way, you can fuck it in so many different ways, temperatures, and more! Now onto its moves, which are also incredibly useful for sex. By level up, it learns Helping Hand. This allows it to increase your fucking power by double, increasing your pleasure times two! It also learns Bite, meaning it can get freaky and tune to whatever shit you like in the bed. Best of all, it can use MIRROR COAT. This means whenever you cum, it can double back the pleasure like a special attack, meaning you’ll feel all the pleasure IT had during sex times TWO! Combine this with Helping Hand and you’ll be turned into a human cum nozzle! Glaceon also learns Barrier, which if used just thrice, turns it into a massively defensive tank, so it can take physical attacks for days, literal fucking days! It can also use Hail. Now, if you use it outside, it will Hail outside. Go back inside and the Hail won’t affect you! Best of all, combine the Hail with Glaceon’s ability Ice Body, and it will gradually replenish it’s Health Points during a hailstorm! This means it will NEVER fucking stop enduring all your “hits,” so you can fuck it over and over and over, combining this with Barrier, and you could probably fuck it for 24 hours straight, if not more! It also learns Baby Doll Eyes, Charm, Captivate, and Yawn, allowing it to get itself right in the mood, along with you too! It even learns Fake Tears, Covet, and Tickle, allowing you to roleplay with it if you’re in the mood. It even learns Stored Power, meaning if it uses enough Barriers, it can release all of the Defensive energy it has into, you guessed it, fucking SPECIAL ATTACK!!! And with its absolutely GODLY special attack stat, you’ll be drowning in waves of pleasure due to this attack! And it doesn’t get rid of the Barrier boosts, so as long as you have enough ethers, it can do this over and over WHILE you’re fucking it! Hell, it even learns attract, which makes you fall so deeply in love with it that you’ll be in a trance of fucking! It can take charge with that as well and use your love to make it fuck it how IT wants! Which means it’s not just pleasurable for you, it’s also pleasurable for your Glaceon! It even learns Aurora Veil, which in the Hail, protects it even fucking MORE from taking too much damage! Combine this with Ice Body and Barrier and you can fuck it for decades without either of you ever getting tired! Glaceon also learns refresh, so if that wasn’t enough, it can never get sick while you’re fucking it, protecting you from any and all STIs and STDs! I rest my case, Glaceon is the BEST Pokémon you can fuck. 🙂