I mean so mainstream that one night during a small house party my sister pretends she thinks I’m cute. She is joking but kinda takes it too far. She struts around making jokes about me, compliments really, and everyone is having a great time. She goes on and on about how I must be a player because I don’t have a girlfriend so I must have a lot. And as she sits on my lap she can feel my raging boner. When she gets up everyone can now see it so I instinctively pull her back down to try and hide it. She pushes away and everyone leaves quickly and quietly. Things get awkward for the next couple months and we hardly talk. My mother hardly ever sees me either as she is always busy with her new hobbies but dad takes me fishing more to talk about life and to give dating advice.

But one night my sister comes into my room to talk. She says she misses hanging out and we can forget about it. I misread the signals and try to kiss her. She flips out, our parents come in, she tells them I tried it again. Mom screams while father drags me into the garage. Two days later I get sent to an all male boarding school in Arizona.

Years pass and eventually things become normal. Still my sister isn’t alone in the same room as me and mom hesitates to hug me but we feel comfortable again.

One Christmas, possibly dad’s last, my sister and her family are here to celebrate and the house is full and filled with joy. I offered to play santa this year as dad is getting older but my sister’s husband takes over. The day after Christmas my sister and I pass in the hallway as we go to our childhood rooms for the night. She stops and apologizes for overreacting all those years ago. She says she knows it was probably teenage hormone stuff and was unintentional but it really freaked her out at the time but if possible she asks for forgiveness. I of course forgive her as I would do anything for my family and although I don’t say it, I didn’t not want it.

We embrace before she pushes me off and says, “OMG it was just a hug wtf God damnit. “

Dad comes out of his room to see us in the hallway and can see my erection thanks to the pajama pants mom got me and then falls sickeningly to the ground. My sister’s husband comes out from her room and punches me, it doesn’t hurt but I am hurled off my feet in slow motion. As I fall to the ground I hear my mother and sister crying while my dad lays motionless on the ground.

At the funeral my aunt cries on my shoulder but suddenly has to go. I’m asked to leave. Mother suggests I get my own apartment to cope and she helps with the rent.