So me and my friend Dimitri were on the bus to our work, which is at the glorious Chernobyl power plant. It was a very pleasant April day, and the radiation levels were fine. Then, I noticed that a reactor was melting, so I stopped jerking off and ran out to the large pool of plutonium to bravely save anyone who had fallen in. However, on the way, I tripped on a rock and my fully erect, 45-centimeter hog went straight into the plutonium. I was immobile, trapped in the dangerous goop with my cock making a hole in the concrete. However, after hours of waiting, a rescue team came to save me. After forcefully pulling me out of the ditch, I discovered that my already impressive red cock had grown to a solid meter! Now, I lay all the best Babushkas, and am filled with Soviet Spirit!

Redly,
Alexy Kromov,
Former Nuclear Physicist,
Babushka Buttfucker Extrordinaire