TIFU by taking the fattest shit of my whole life


So, tonight i took the fattest shit of my whole life, it lasted for like 30 minutes without even touching my phone (very rare thing).

So for the huge strain my ass started sweating, and the toilet was very wet.
So stretching my arm to take my phone i lost the balance and fell off the toilet, hitting the bidet (italian thing to wash your ass after you’ve done whatever you’ve done) right behind my ear, and it started hurting so much i screamed and my parents woke up and ran to help me. They found myself naked, with my ass not really clean and the whole masterpiece still in the toilet screaming for help while laying on the ground.
We called an ambulance and basically i had an head trauma.
I don’t know what will happen next but its four AM and i’m in a hospital with my parents waiting for the doctors to say what they will have to do.

TL:DR:
Basically i head a head trauma because i fell off the toilet after taking a huge shit, because my ass was sweating.