Once upon a time there was a little dog and his name was Horace, not only was this dog a beagle but the dog was also my hamster, don’t be alarmed though because this was a nice hamster dog who likes fake cheese and warm hugs. One day Horace thought it would be a good idea to go to the soup store but only if they had tomato as that was his favorite but actually just kidding if they had clam chowder he would accept that as well, even though it is not his favorite. Lemon drops rained from the sky, god was angry as they forgot to make the sacrifice of pork rinds to the young sweet boy, but then it stopped because god ran out of a budget to do such a thing. After the car crash, Horace drank his soup straight out the pussy of a local homeless transvestite, god forbid his estranged aunt see them do that, no one liked aunt mayhew she was old and smelled of bilge water, whatever that smells like. Out of nowhere (Actually, it was out of the walmart that horace had went to, (He calls it the soup store even though they actually serve a lot more than like dog food and cheap yogurt) (but that’s besides the point)) a pigeon hopped up onto the podium and started yapping about free health care, but then started spraying racial slurs out his ass in order to appease the masses of wolverine cosplayers who most eagerly awaited with open mouths. Milk spoils faster in the presence of discord mods, which is a fact of life and an accepted practice buy mormons, to suckle from the teet of power if all but the greatest honors a mormon can be awarded. But anyway this story is about horace and a transvestite with clam chowder in they’re coochy, horace decided he would post about this on myspace (Horace still used myspace despite it being 2022 and also him being a dog) Much to his dismay Myspace had closed down because it is a loser website for loser individuals. Horace was so upset the only thing that could console him was to look at this bored ape yacht club NFT, Horace had bought the dip and made millions not that it really matters though because horace is a 5 year old dog who is effectively over the hills living in retirement. Horace then proceeded to shoot up heroin and die in the walmart parking lot