Fuck you Hinata.

The amount of pain, suffering and regret that mocking, gurning grin adorning your face has caused me is immeasurable. You represent an anti-climax like no other.

Picture the scene. The moral agony as the index finger hovers over the summon button. Do you? Don’t you? Do I wait until the next banner? Maybe I should save them for when Glade and Beck come out. Then again…

Before you know it, you’ve already tapped down. Five orbs fill the screen. Three colourless, a green and a red. What to pick? You stare at the screen in anticipation. Both green and colourless are tempting. Both could produce units allowing you to turn the nonchalant capitulation your team undergoes countless times into a stalwart defense. The prospect of tarnishing perfect arena streaks sets your mouth watering. Eagerly, you move to press down on one of the two, waiting for the S+ unit that will send you into raptures.

Hang on…

The voice of reason whispers in your ear. Red has the highest chance of getting you a focus unit. You exhale deeply, thanking the gacha gods for letting you avoid Barst, Virion, or god forbid, another Wrys. The last time you saw his wrinkled, shining forehead was a few days ago. You don’t want to see it again.
Smiling smugly, you click on the red. Reason has triumphed over impulse. A flicker of a grin flashes across your face as the screen transitions, glorious blue sky filling every pixel. You squint at the sudden lighting transition, your tired eyes stinging in protest at the harsh white light of day. But it doesn’t matter

Vivid colours swirl around the centre of the screen. Orchestral chords blare into your ears, the racing percussion matching your own heartbeat. Your eyes widen in excitement as a puff of mist speeds outwards. Who will it be? Eldigan or Sanaki are the focus units – you’d take them in a heartbeat. Or maybe it’s one step above? Will you finally possess that unit capable of catapulting you into the 1600 feather threshold? Will Hector simply become a formality, the overwhelming power of your new red lord turning the gatekeeper of the higher tiers into a mere punching bag?

You turn back to the screen as white light bursts from the summoning stone. You’re pumped. You haven’t been this hyped since launch day. If Shulk had a banner, you’d be summoning him, because you’re REALLY FEELING IT
But no. Fate is the cruellest of S-Supports. You stare closely at the unmistakably familiar, soul-crushingly bland character design of Hinata. He’s the sort of character who is perfectly designed for his role as a dull side-character. He looks as though he was thrown together at the last minute, the very embodiment of karoshi. He eagerly tells you he has the “best slice around”, though the superlative seems more like a joke by the translator than anything else. Exhaling in defeat, you tap the screen, returning to the summoning screen. You aren’t satisfied, but you can’t bear to get your hopes up again. You realise you’re nothing but a pawn, doomed to do nothing but collect Hinatas until the end of time. The phone’s lock button is a conduit for your frustration, pushing down on the metal with as much anger as you can. You roll over, drifting into an uneasy sleep. A contorted expression, reminiscent of a daliesque Oboro settles onto your face. One thought echoes around your tired mind.

Fuck Hinata.