Paying taxes is for primitive beings. So without further ado, let’s set your tax evasion journey afoot. Step One: Operate Under a Shell Company “Don’t do anything as yourself. Own nothing, control everything.” The popular financial adage refers to acting as a business, as opposed to an individual, to minimize expenses and access financial rewards. The government is quite generous when it comes to money benefiting corporations. Why? The net effect is a win for the economy. So, investments are tax-deductible, as are associated losses, so as not to dissuade businesspeople from continuing their practices. Remember and take advantage of this. Form a ‘shell company’. Most corporations already operate under shell structures—entities that exist on paper, owning your actual businesses, allowing you to transfer funds, mask funds, hide funds, and classify funds as losses or investments when they’re just not. It’s brilliant. And quite fun to do. (Kidding…) We call this process creative accounting — possibly the most splendid application of human imagination. Step Two: Find a Tax Haven Heard of the Channel Islands? Beautiful beaches, wondrous lakes, and breathtaking oceanside views from all across the border. The only thing more beautiful is a 20% personal income tax rate. Half that of the highest American bracket. To gain access to this exclusive insider rate, all you must do is spend enough time there. Citizenship isn’t even required; a foreign residence will suffice. Opening a bank account to manage your broad finances will do the trick. You highly involved business owners shouldn’t have to pay your taxes to the American government! That’s absurd. By registering your business in the Channel Islands, Panama, Monaco, Hong Kong, the Cook Islands, the Bahamas, or Belize, you no longer have to abide by American tax law. For example, if you own a cruise company, look no further than Panama. Any vessels in the area can dock there and all related assets will exist under your Panaman headquarters—saving you a fortune. These countries want you. They need you. Be a global citizen, and spur their economies with your business and your presence. Step Three: Screw Capital Gains Tax Nobody likes paying capital gains when selling their stocks, options, or futures contracts in under a year. It’s annoying. When you are the one who traded for a profit, why should the government reap your reward? Even if they created the playing field for you to do so? Luckily, there is a way. With tax evasion, there is always a way. Use your local bank to take a loan and put up your interim investments as collateral. As you don’t possess the value of those shares, you can’t be taxed. Simple! Now you can go bonkers in your Fidelity account without thinking twice. Step Four: Love Your Trust Funds Members of the ultra-wealthy, ultra-savvy, money-conscious class: what’s the point of accruing such wealth if you can’t bestow it upon those you love? The government sticks its nose in your purse yet again by taxing any inheritance you leave for your kids. Property, capital, assets… you name it. With tax evasion, there is always a way. Set up a GRAT (grantor retained annuity trust), or a trust fund. Any investments made therein will be tax-free, and will arrive in their full form to your inheritor.