Sometimes the depth and breadth in which I experience life can be overwhelming. The way that I’m wired means I receive a LOT of information from my surroundings and the other humans in it. For some reason I was never fitted with the skepticism chip. I’ve never doubted this information. Ever. I may have pushed it aside because I didn’t WANT it to be true, ignoring it so I could play out my own patterning but I’ve never once gotten a ‘download’ and gone, ‘nope, that’s not true.’
Somehow this came up in three client sessions this week. Two remarked about how challenging it must be. And yeah, it can be. It’s challenging because there are moments where I can see someone’s illusions playing out in a way where they’re REALLY hurting themselves and others. I can see the story playing out in the way they move through the world and especially if I care deeply about them, it can be brutally agonising to watch.
In this I’ve learnt (through disastrous trial and error over the years) that I can’t convince anyone to heal or to open. I learnt that the law of non interference is there for a reason. And I man did I try and stretch that boundary. Ohhh how I tried. It has broken my heart into a million pieces more times than I could possibly tell you. But, with this deeply profound heartache, the confusion I have around the way our species has evolved, (I swear I’m not from here sometimes, half the time you lot make ZERO sense to me, especially when it comes to opening to life and love) comes the flip side…
The experiences I’ve allowed into my life are utterly insane. Exquisitely mystical and divine. Beyond all language. I’ve traversed multidimensional realms just allowing myself to sink into the beauty of a flower. I’ve loved SO deeply that it has left me in utter ecstasy, collecting myself amongst the stars. I’ve allowed myself to BE loved by all that is (you want a peak experience? Try THAT one on for size). I’ve had inexplicably stunning experiences of the universe and have touched the face of God more times than I could tell you. I’ve died and been reborn so many times I have no fear of mortality at all. You know what scares me? Not living. Like REALLY living. Opening to this insanely brief and precious jewel of life experience that we have been so generously given. To close off to that and to its life force of love and truth and magic feels so agonisingly wasteful to me.
If there were one thing I could impress upon you all. If I could wave my wand and have ANYTHING in the world, it would be to have the ability to show every human on the planet what it is to live life through that mystic lens and how much they’re loved. How much of their suffering comes from being afraid to open to life. To love. To truth. Vulnerability. And what it means to actually heal and how safe that process is. How necessary. How it could bring us all home. That will forever be my wish, my motivation, my North Star. Always.