HOHOHAHAHAHAHA
Oh what’s this! What’s this thing! What is this! This looks like he sat on it, did the delivery guy, was he-was he mad? Did he sit on this shit, like, aft- “I’ll show him, I’ll show this fucking asshole making me wait for McChickens.”, like, stuff it under his ass? What’s on this? Do you see what happened? Let me show you this. Look at this. This is a piece of lettuce. This is not, I promise, it might look like I ripped off a piece of tissue paper. This is lettuce, and let’s see how it tastes. Very bad. React more, there’s s- what do you mean react more? Its’ a McChicken sandwich, I just showed you the f- the, react more. Ugh, no, I’m about to eat why am I doing this? Where’s my 20 fuckin bucks? *laughs and coughs* Somebody said chew 20 times, *laughs* I don’t know why that’s makin me laugh. I-I’l-I’ll try, I don’t think I’ve chewed 20 times in my whole life, you’re suppose- that’s how much you’re- you’re supposed to chew 20 times, right? That’s impos- that’s not possible, it just turns into like, gush. It’s not enough, that wasn’t enough! *laughs* “Rub it in your hair.” *laughs* You guys are fucked. *laughs* You’re making this not enjoyable as it should be. Hey, look. You get one life to be ab- to be 33 and have fun. I choose this life, this is the life that I choose, I, I choose this, I- *laughs* That’s a bad choice. *laughs* “This is a midlife crisis on stream”, I’m doing just fine. Th-t-this bag of McDonalds is so huge, what’s even in here? Why are there bacon fries in here? Are you sh- what is this- a new item? New item reveal! What? What the hell are these? Oh, these are the saddest disgusting, look at these- look at how awful this looks, look at this, look at- I- Alright- I have no- There’s no connection here between me and McDonalds, this is a pure opinion and a review of this item, look at how shitty these look. Cheesy bacon fries, you ready for this? That looks like somebody just blew a bloody snot rocket in the fries. Is it chili? It’s just right in the middle, its like a ice cream scoop of like bacon chili. You need a better picture of this, this is terrible, that’s not- that’s a joke. Let’s see how they taste. Grocery store, uh, easy cheese out of the can. No, wouldn’t order again, that’s been the review for the McDonald’s Bacon Fries. Wouldn’t order them again, put ’em in your nose, you think that would, no. Alright, I a- again, I’m, w-w-we’re just like dickin’ around and being, like, we- you know what- we’re- you notice that like streamers do that shit- oh we’re like- we’re doing something stupid here, like oh, you know, we’re just having fun here, like, we’re no- I’m doing this, I’m- I’m being a fuckin weirdo, you guys are just like watching and pointing at the screen and laughing at it- at me. I’m done s- I’m done playing games. I’m just gonna- *starts laughing* I’m just gonna go to IRL and eat. I wonder if the viewers will go up, watch me hit like 6K, just sitting here eating like shitty ground bacon fries. I could hit it big in the IRL section? Okay, this is how you know I’ve like, kind of lost my fucking mind. I was about to put this in here. I was about to put the straw in here, for some reason. Have I been poisoned? I don’t understand. There we go, nobody drinks this much soda. There’s another thing, who the fuck is gonna drink this? This is like, f-66 ounces of liquid. This is like 5 times your sugar content for the day. This is not alright. I had something solid in there. *starts to laugh* The guy, alright, “I thought that said the guy that delivered your McChickens gave you a Mario Maker level.” “Hey man, hope you like the food, check out my level.” The- This is McChicken number 2, this is really weird and, I got- let me- I got to apologize to people that have been watching this channel for a long time, this is weird. This is not even that weird, people do this shit every day! People do what I’m doing right now, every day. every day! This is not even that weird this is like, normal, for Twitch, isn’t it? “What’s the flavor?” Oh yeah, I’m reviewing this, okay, so we’ve got- the initial bite goes right through, but it’s hard because I’m missing like 9 teeth so, when I get it back here it’s- I’m- I’m missing every molar so I have to like, gum it, and I don’t know why, but every single time that I have ordered a McChicken in the last 6 months, they’ve just given me a spicy McChicken. Have they run out? Did McDonalds run out of regular McChickens and they’re just trying to pass it as not? I don’t get it. “Show your feet or pre-recorded.” I would rather you think this is pre-recorded. You know some streams that you just, look back and you say “I kind of regret all the things I did, over the last 40 minutes.” This is one of them. Let’s just leave this up. “There are spicy McChickens?” Yeah! *starts laughing* Those fingers, it’s like- fuckin like Dinosaur man, like Barney Rubble. “Hey Fred!” That’s what your hands look like in a cartoon when Tom and Jerry come over and smash them with a hammer. Oh, I’e got something gross here, yup, good thing the cameras not on because I just bit into a solid chunk. I just bit into a bone. *laughs* It’s like- Who’s- Ok- Who’s reacting to who here? What- Who- Which one of us is th- is reacting! I don’t know who’s the reactor, whose stream, what video is this? It’s the council! I’m not gonna lie, I heard, I swear to God I heard from inside of this can, I heard a- There was sitting, still, on this desk, I heard a blurhburhbckb, like a bubble coming up and popping up here, like there’s a fucking animal in here. Anyways okay, so, um, this is a- no I promise you that’s not a picture of a salad, that’s a salad. That’s not a decorated plate, that’s a salad. Here’s the review, alright review time, I gotta eat one more to find out, I think, yeah I gotta get one more in me. *crash* How’s this one look? Let’s actually unwrap this one. Well, as we can see from the- from the unwrapping, somebody stomped on this. This one’s better! This one’s mm, mhm, what, this one’s a little better, fresher, a little more of a zing to it, although it kind of does have mmm, mmm, little- what happened mm- sounds like the lettuce is trying to get out and escape from out of the bun, like as you see the lettuce is trying to essentially get out, it’s crawling out, to try to leave. These are the images that you see back to back next to each other, for the, like- the- hair transplant commercials, you know what I’m saying? And I do a voiceover talkin about hey you know uh I’m telling ya it’s my hair, its my hair, I can do this, you know? I can go swimming with this, eh, I can do this now and they like go like BBAHP. I ju- Great, put it in your hair is now a thing. Oh I’m going to take a bath tonight. Now this is gonna sound crazy, but that looks identical, and I mean identical, to my grandmother. Identical. This is just- This is just scary. This is a scary picture. That’s scary. What is this, like Earth, wind, fire, and water? Why do I have all these on the screen? There was this lady, and her name was Brady, and she had a house with a buncha fuckin kids, and they all were a great big family, and they all had fights and shit, until one day this lady met this fellow, and they knew they were eating chicken bones cause that’s what I just fucking ate again. Anybody want a decorated plate salad? I have to try it, I- this is a review, 3- 2 out of, it’s probably a 2 out of 10 to be honest. Uh, actually, hold on a second here, hold on a minute here, woah, wh- woah, hold on, this is, this is not bad, this is actually pretty fuckin good, this is actually a pretty, goo- I think that somebody ssh- this is- I- alright now it’s just weird- ok that’s- this- this is supposed to be carrots I think. Let me show you this, hm, pretty good.