My wife and I have been married for 7 years. We have 2 kids, 9 and 3, both of whom I’ve been introducing to gaming since they were old enough to understand that games aren’t movies and they control what happens on screen. My 9 year old is an especially avid gamer – his favorite game being, of course, Fortnite.

For the past 4 years it has been no secret amongst our friends, family, and church that my wife and I have struggled with our sobriety. A year ago my wife got a DUI and begged, tears in her eyes, for us to have another baby so she wouldn’t have to go to jail because our state hasnt been jailing pregnant women due to COVID. Two years ago I had to have her hire an international lawyer because I blacked out while on vacation in Europe and was assaulted by a bouncer outside a museum. To make a long story short: things have been… a lot.

Back to Fortnite:

My son loves Fortnite. He has a Fortnite backpack. He wants to be a game designer when he grows up. So naturally I feel inclined to play it with him. I’m not as good as he is but I’ve been the last man standing a handful of times.

It was fun, but it became even more fun once my wife joined in. First it started with her watching and getting invested the same way you get invested in a football game. Then she started playing creative mode here and there. Then she started getting *better than me*. Then both my son and I watched as she played for hours, racking up kills and victories. My son and I were both blown away by how quickly she, a non gamer, learned and improved.

One night both kids were in bed and her and I were playing. We were both smoking and generally in a vibey headspace when we started talking about Fortnite and how we were most likely playing children who were up past their bedtime, including one who was totally elated in our squad about getting a chug jug. Children who are living in the golden days of their youth, being watched by two people in their 30s who could lick the frosting off those childhood summer days if nights were half as sweet.

We talked about how those kids will one day our age, paying bills, remembering days that we were present for, if only in a game of duos, playing the role of some specter they would eventually come to occupy. And they too would look at someone in their blissful, naive youth and wonder how they went to bed, woke up, played fortnite and went to bed again so many small, incremental times that they had turned into adults, now knowledgeable about the world but no less lost.

Anyway, after that night we decided to seek marriage counseling. It’s gone fantastically, and through it all it wasn’t the dramatic moments or hours of arguments that changed things: it was a goofy childrens game and a chug jug.