Weww, Seymouw, I made it… despite youw diwections.
Ah, Supewintendent Chawmews, Wewcome \^w^ I hope you’we pwepawed fow an unfowgettabwe wuncheon \^w^
Myeh…
[gasp] Oh egads, my woast is wuinyed \^w^ But what if… I wewe to puwchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? [to himsewf] Oh ho ho ho ho… dewightfuwwy deviwish, Seymouw \^w^
Ah-
Skinnyew with his cwazy expwanyations,
The supewintendent’s gonnya nyeed his medication,
When he heaws Skinnyew’s wame exaggewations,
Thewe’ww be twoubwe in town tonyight \^w^
SEYMOUW \^w^
Supewintendent, I was just, uh… just stwetching my cawves on the windowsiww. Isometwic exewcise \^w^ Cawe to join me?
Why is thewe smoke coming out of youw uvn, Seymouw?
Uhh… oh \^w^ That isn’t smoke. It’s steam. Steam fwom the steamed cwams we’we having \^w^ Mmm… steamed cwams \^w^
Phew \^w^
[a few moments watew]
Supewintendent, I hope you’we weady fow mouthwatewing hambuwgews \^w^
I thought we wewe having steamed cwams.
D’oh, nyo. I said steamed hams \^w^ That’s what I caww hambuwgews \^w^
You caww hambuwgews “steamed hams?”
Yes. It’s a wegionyaw diawect \^w^
Uh-huh… uh, what wegion?
Uhh… upstate Nyew Yowk?
Weawwy? Weww, I’m fwom Utica, and I’ve nyevew heawd anyonye use the phwase “steamed hams.”
Oh, nyot in Utica, nyo. It’s an Awbany expwession.
I see. [beat] You knyow, these hambuwgews awe quite simiwaw to the onyes they have at Kwusty Buwgew.
Oh ho ho ho… nyo, patented Skinnyew buwgews. Owd famiwy wecipe.
Fow steamed hams?
Yes.
Yeah, so you caww them “steamed hams” despite the fact they awe obviouswy gwiwwed.
Ye- you knyow, the- onye thing I shouwd- excuse me fow onye second.
Of couwse.
[YAWN] Weww, that was wondewfuw. A good time was had by aww, I’m pooped.
Yes, I shouwd be- Good Wowd, what is happenying in thewe \^w^ ?
Auwowa boweawis?
Ah- auwowa boweawis \^w^ ? At this time of yeaw, at this time of day, in this pawt of the countwy, wocawized entiwewy within youw kitchen \^w^ ?
Yes \^w^
May I see it?
Nyo.
Seymouw, the house is on fiwe \^w^
Nyo, mothew, it’s just the nyowthewn wights \^w^
Weww, Seymouw, you awe an odd fewwow, but I must say… you steam a good ham.
Hewp \^w^ Hewp \^w^