Alright, I’ll give you a full answer.


You can live off of only celery and rice, because I, in my infinite wisdom, genetically modified it to be able to support life in case I ever need to hide in my nuclear bunker located in Canada. I quickly eliminated any threat of opposition in the world, however, so that plan never came to fruition.
The celery empire consists of several peaceful, energy-efficient and healthy cities, with countless smaller towns, everyone doing their part to co-exist peacefully with each other. You can work any job you want, and do whatever, as long as you are doing the minimum required amount to sustain the Celery Kingdom.
Aside from this, worshipping the Holy Celery Stalk will give you several health benefits, including improved mental fortitude, healthy skin and heart, improved vision, superhuman strength for true believers, shapeshifting, and many other benefits, including access to the Holy Celery Stalk to let your prayers be heard.
If you don’t wish to work on producing celery or praying (even though praying is very, very important), you can still live any life you want. Is your dream to work on technology? Entertain the masses? Just live an everyday life? We have it all in the Celery Empire. If danger is your thing, you can even help quash the anti-celery dungeons rising out of the ground outside the Holy Celery Stalk’s protection! There’s no risk of permanently dying, since you can be re-summoned. Currently, the only thing that the Celery Empire hasn’t developed to a great extent is the map of the world. The Holy Celery Stalk channels such divine energy that it generates an inter-dimensional portal leading to a cute place, which is being mapped as we speak.
Currently, we’ve decided that it consists of an ever-expanding disk-like world, with multiplying suns and moons being launched from special sites in geometric formations, which appear to be many millennia old- and we’ve found all this out just due to the Holy Celery Stalk and the power of belief and prayer!
The higher-ups in this place, including me, the Overseer, are currently undergoing a strategic meeting spanning multiple weeks with the Holy Celery Stalk, attempting to calculate if it’s worth using the inter-dimensional portal to transfer all our technology, people, and buildings over to that place. Currently, we’ve already started working on planar cloning to make a solidifying shadow of the work we’ve done in this world and transfer it over to that one.
However, that world is much more dangerous and unknown, which is why we need your help. Joining the Celery Forces will give you a nice room and all the celery and rice you can eat, as well as flat or sparkling water if that’s your thing. And free healthcare, but just because of the power of the Holy Celery Stalk. There are multiple established groups already in that world, and dangerous ruins coming into existence every day by the expansion of the disk-like shape that forms the world.
However, if our mission is a success and our calculations are right, we will be able to force the growth of the world in such a way that the disk will slope off the edges and no new threats can oppose us, therefore giving Celery a dimension in which to exist in peace, happiness, and harmony. But to do this, we need your help. Be a brave frontier warrior, heal others with the power of prayer, or even supply celery from this dimension into the other, if that’s your thing, and life a happy, fulfilling life.
Speaking of the cost, that’s also not an issue at all! Rich, or poor, you can make yourself right at home under the worship of the completely indestructible or corruptible Holy Celery Stalk. While it’s true that some lines of interest pay more than others, everyone has more than enough ČČ (the currency of the new world) to live very comfortably. It doesn’t cost anything to join, and you can leave whenever you want, with a fast exit through the thousands of acres of celery we have on the Fast Tram.


I hope this satisfies your question!
Sincerely, Maven, 3rd Overseer of the Celery Empire.