Oh man, did you see that news release?!!!

[Insert hyped-up game’s name here] just got released!
I’m so happy! I swear I’m gonna 100% this game on every single platform: PC™, PC2™, PS4™, PS5™, Xbox One™, Xbox Series X™, Nintendo Switch™, Oculus Rift™, iOS™, Android™, Linux™, Gameboy Color™, Wii U™, Sony Toaster™, Microsoft Fridge™, Konami Dishwasher™, Nintendo Toilet Seat™, Philips Pregnancy Test™, IBM Calculator™ and on all others™™™™™™™™!

POGGERS™™™™™™©©®®®®®!