That reminds me.
I woke up in the middle of the night like 3 years ago after I ate some hard seafood and I mean I really had to shit.
My ass was about to explode so I had to go and find this little step stool I put my feet up on when ik it’s gonna be a hardcore shit and I was looking for like a minute and couldn’t find it and was so ready to explode but I found it in the closet so I grab it and run to the toilet while fighting back because if I let my guard down it was not going easy on me.
So I plop down on that cold ass toilet seat and shit just kept flowing and exploding from within, my stomach was hurting so bad I really thought I was gonna die and I started crying because how much it hurt and my ass was burning so hot the entire time.
And halfway through my suicidal shit I realized there was no toilet paper roll. So I’m sitting there contemplating life thinking what I should do because this brutal shit was not yet over.
But I remembered we keep baby wipes under the sink. So after about an hour of shitting thinking I was gonna just die I get up and grab some and I could barely wipe my ass because it hurt and burned so much but I fought through it.
Then I got to stand up victorious over that 5th dimensional shit and go to flush and it would not go down I was ready to commit suicide
But eventually it went down and I turned on the shower really cold and hopped in blasting it on my ass because it was burning so bad and I got out thinking shit was sweet and I go to sit down then my ass just started raging and it hurt like fuck.
So I grab a Ziploc bag put ice in it and put it on my ass because I couldn’t sit on my ass and laid down on my stomach for like an hour watching YouTube till the pain went away and I could go back to sleep.
So I’m never eating from that place ever again.