Yo momma’s so heavy, her scale asks for a timeout!
Yo momma’s so weighty, her driver’s license picture takes up two lanes.
Yo momma’s so hefty, she uses the equator as her belt!
Yo momma’s so big, even gravity needs a break around her.
Yo momma’s so massive, when she walks on the beach, Greenpeace shows up.
Yo momma’s so heavy, she has her own gravitational pull.
Yo momma’s so plump, she’s got her own zip code!
Yo momma’s so weighty, she’s got her own event horizon.
Yo momma’s so hefty, she makes the moon look like a pebble.
Yo momma’s so big, her shadow needs a shadow.
Yo momma’s so massive, she’s the reason for high tide.
Yo momma’s so heavy, she sat on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo momma’s so plump, she’s got her own weather system.
Yo momma’s so weighty, she’s got her own personal buffet table.
Yo momma’s so hefty, when she steps on a scale, it reads “To be continued…”
Yo momma’s so big, when she wears high heels, they become flat.
Yo momma’s so massive, when she jumps, she gets stuck in mid-air.
Yo momma’s so heavy, she broke the stairway to heaven.
Yo momma’s so plump, she takes up both sides of the family tree.
Yo momma’s so weighty, she needs a map to find her own belly button.
Yo momma’s so hefty, she needs a forklift to give her a hug.
Yo momma’s so big, when she dances, the DJ has to change the song.
Yo momma’s so massive, she uses a satellite dish as a belt buckle.
Yo momma’s so heavy, when she goes to the beach, whales sing to her.
Yo momma’s so plump, she puts the “roll” in “rock ‘n’ roll.”
Yo momma’s so weighty, she uses the Grand Canyon as a step.
Yo momma’s so hefty, she’s got her own gravitational waves.
Yo momma’s so big, when she sits around the house, she really sits AROUND the house.
Yo momma’s so massive, she needs a GPS to find her toes.
Yo momma’s so heavy, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people shout “Taxi!”
Yo momma’s so plump, she uses the ocean as a Jacuzzi.
Yo momma’s so weighty, when she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
Yo momma’s so hefty, she’s got more curves than a roller coaster.
Yo momma’s so big, she takes selfies in panoramic mode.
Yo momma’s so massive, she’s got her own moon orbiting her.
Yo momma’s so heavy, when she goes camping, bears hide their food.
Yo momma’s so plump, she’s the reason they had to invent the “wide angle” lens.
Yo momma’s so weighty, she needs a map to find her own elbows.
Yo momma’s so hefty, when she walks on the street, cars have to swerve.
Yo momma’s so big, when she goes to the zoo, elephants throw her peanuts.
Yo momma’s so massive, she’s the eighth wonder of the world.
Yo momma’s so heavy, even the Borg couldn’t assimilate her.
Yo momma’s so plump, she’s got her own food court in her back pocket.
Yo momma’s so weighty, her favorite exercise is pushing her luck.
Yo momma’s so hefty, she’s the real reason the Earth spins.
Yo momma’s so big, when she steps on a scale, it says “To be continued…”
Yo momma’s so massive, her belt is an entire highway.
Yo momma’s so heavy, her shadow has its own gravitational pull.
Yo momma’s so plump, she makes the Pillsbury Doughboy jealous.
Yo momma’s so weighty, her blood type is Ragu.