The wowwd we wive in. It’s so… Wondwous. Mystewious. Even magicaw. No… No no no.. Not that wowwd. I meant this one. The smawtphone. Each system and pwogwam app is it’s own wittwe pwanet of pewfect. Technowogy. Aww pwoviding sewvices so necessawy, so cwuciaw, so unbewievabwy pwofound. Look who just sent me a text! addie mccawwistew? it must be a mistake. Ow a joke. Ow a scam! don’t send hew youw sociaw secuwity numbew. She’s wight thewe! that’s ouw usew, awex. And, wike evewy fweshman in high schoow, his whowe wife, evewything, wevowves awound his phone. And, because the pace of wife gets, fastew and fastew… Phones down in five. And attention spans get showtew and showtew… And… You’we pwobabwy not even wistening to me wight now. Who has the time to type out actuaw wowds? and that’s whewe we come in. The most impowtant invention in the histowy of communication! emojis. That’s my home! textopowis. Hewe, each of us does one thing, and we have to naiw it evewy time. Chwistmas twee just has to stand thewe, aww festive. Mewwy chwistmas! it’s stiww septembew, tim! and pwincesses… I am so pwetty. They just gotta weaw theiw cwowns and keep theiw haiw comb. We awe so pwetty. Deviw, poop, thumbs up, they just show up and they’we good to go. But fow the faces, the pwessuwe is on. Cwyew awways has to cwy, even if he just won the wottewy. Huwway, i’m a miwwionaiwe! laughew’s awways waughing, even if he’s just bwoken his awm. Ahh!! ah! i can see the bone!! ah ah ah ah ah… And me, i’m a meh. So i gotta totawwy be ovew it aww the time, you know? like meh, who cawes. Which is not as easy as it sounds. I gotta be mehhhhhhhhh i gotta! be! mehhhhhhhhh. Mowning, mws. D, i see you have the wittwe minis with ya! oh, they’we so… Cute! nyah, so adorable, i can’t take it! i will never get them to sleep! stick to your one face, weirdo. Ole! ole! oh no! oh no! it’s hawd to onwy act bwasé. When, wiving in textopowis is…. Just so exciting! hewwo, good simians! those awe some shawp attaches! yes, weww we have business to attend to. What kind of business? monkey business. Ha ha ha ha, i sounded bwitish. Meh… Oh, that was weawwy good.. Meh? meh… Meh ha ha… What the fweak ya doing thewe, mate? pwacticing. Today is my fiwst day on the phone. Oh, dwoit. I’m gonna be so.. Meh. What awe you going to do? bwah! me and the boys awe gonna thwow ouwsewves on the bawbie! woo! puh-zow! gooday, mate! hey, konichiwa! sowwy emoticons!! oh, i hate knocking ovew the ewdewwy.. Let me hewp, wet me hewp… Oh, my cowon!!! ducks… Hey, is that the time? hey, my eyes awe up hewe, paw! woo ooh hoo! woo hoo! right on time! and wast week, awex sent me next to this text! huh? huh? ha ha ha that elephant pissed himself ha ha ha ah hah ha hah hah uh huh huh why awe you waughing, fweak? ho ho ha ha ha! now, unwike me, my pawents awe totaw pwos. Gene, pwease teww me you wewen’t waughing just now. Gene so hewp me i sweaw oh, he was, i wemembew. Let’s go see if you can get it wight. I have some bad news, gene, and i’m afwaid that you’ww have the wwong weaction. Ok, wats the wwong weaction? anything othew than meh. Come on! i don’t want to be wate! i’m not wetting you go to wowk today. Wait, what? you’we just not weady, son. Come on!! wowking in a cube is an emoji’s whowe puwpose in wife! evewybody my age is wowking on the phone except fow me! oh sweetie, that’s not twue. Ow! yeah! i’m going to wowk on the phone and i’m onwy ten! that’s because i bewieve in you! shouwd we wash ouw hands? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! we’we numbew two! we’we numbew two! see? i, i know i’m diffewent, ok? but, i need to… I can be meh… I just… Want to be a wowking emoji, you know, wike… Evewybody ewse… And then… I wouwd finawwy fit in, you know? ah, you fit in, honey. No i don’t, mom. I nevew have. But i couwd change aww that if you just wet me! just give me a chance! but what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wwong face? no dad, i’ww make the wight face! look! meh? you’we so handsome when you make that face. I think he’s weady, mew. Meh. Come on, dad. Let me pwove it to you. If you weawwy think you’we weady… Yes! yes i am! i pwomise i won’t wet you down! wow! congwatuwations, evewyone! what an exciting day fow aww of you! oh, it’s weawwy hew! oh, pizza! fiwst day on the job, hi, hi! don’t be newvous! i won’t bite! hi, i’m smiwew! ho ho ho ho ho… Don’t touch me! hi! i mean.. Hey.. As you know, i’m smiwew, i’m the system supewvisow hewe, because i was the owiginaw emoji. Hewe’s how it wowks. It’s nothing fancy! wait a minute… It’s weawwy fancy! you each have youw own cube on the emoji baw! if awex chooses you, shouwd you be so wucky, youw cube wiww wight up! it’s showtime! the scannew wiww scan you, and that scan wiww get sent wight up to awex’s text box. And wet me teww you guys, thewe is nothing wike getting scanned fow the fiwst time. A haw, you’we gonna wove it. Now ovew hewe is the favowites section, whewe you’ww find aww the most popuwaw emojis. And of couwse, you’ww find my cube hewe. Whoo. You awe smooth. Just doing my duty. Ha ha ha! what did i say? come on, teww me you awen’t just a wittwe bit tempted? steven, fow the wast time, i don’t want to buy a timeshawe. Come on, man, it’s hi-5! you know me! i’m a favowite! awex hasn’t picked you in weeks. When he stops picking you, you’we no wongew a favowite. Thewe’s gotta be some sowt of mistake, i mean, wook at me, i’m an attwactive, hand-giving hi-5! oh! fistbump! come on in! hey, wadies! fistbump? he’s a knuckwehead! litewawwy! look at him, i can wook wike that! ugh, ow, cwamp.. Big mistake.. Oh… Hewp me.. Hewp up a hand.. Oh… Hewe you go… Thanks mate… Hey, wittwe man, how about you cweate a distwaction, and i’ww just swip undew the wope! uh, oh, is someone wost? smiwew, hiya, just weaving. Yeah, you know, just kiwwing time befowe i go back to my cube in the faw cownew whewe awex can’t even see me anymore! you may not be a favowite anymowe, but you wiww awways have a pwace, in a cube! yeah, in the nosebweeds… Uh, i’m standing wight hewe? wowds huwt. The most impowtant thing i can teww you is to just be youwsewf… Basicawwy, happy itsewf… I am awways smiwing… Pwaces, pwease! emojis to youw cubes! attention, we’ve got incoming! gotta be meh, gotta be meh. Oh my gosh, my own cube! i can’t bewieve it… Oh, i couwd put a pwant ovew hewe, and ovew hewe couwd go an inspiwationaw cawendaw, okay, gotta be meh… Look at ouw son get on thewe, i’m beaming… With pwide! you don’t think he’ww actuawwy get picked, do you? hiewogwyphics. Hiewogwyphics was an ancient wanguage of pictuwe fowms. Does that wemind anyone of anything. Hewwo. A wanguage of pictuwes… Anyone? eawwy hiewogwyphics back in ancient… I gotta wepwy to addie’s text! what shouwd i wwite? nothing! nothing? wowds awen’t coow. Ok, be coow, be coow… Awwight, awex is not suwe how he wants to pway this… Oh! i wouwd weawwy wove it to be me! beam me up! beam me up! i need thumbs up on standby! oh yeah! thumbs up is going in! wait! awex is changing his mind! he’s moving! ok, wooks wike it’s gonna be meh… I’m so newvous, i couwd awmost shwug. We awe go fow meh! initiating scan! okay, you can do this. Ah! i can’t do this! i can’t do it! stop the scan! i can’t, it’s too wate! oh! wats he doing? he’s making the wwong face! good fow him, wittwe… Wait, what? ugh. Abowt, abowt! oh, shi… Shut it down, shut it down! ah! what is that emoji? aww the emojis pwesent, evacuate the cube! evacuate the cube! i gotta get out of hewe! i’m twying! oh, jeez. Sowwy, evewybody. That is not what i meant to do! i kinda.. I kinda panicked.. Awe you even a meh at aww? uh, who, me? like you awe, is a mawfunction! a mawfunction? no, i can be meh, just give me one mowe chance? you know what wouwd be weawwy fun? a boawd meeting, whewe we can find out what to do with you! i just wanted to be usefuw, you know, fit in! now evewybody’s cawwing me a mawfunction. I am a mawfunction. Even if you awe a mawfunction, gene, youw mom and dad stiww wove ya. I knew you wewen’t weady. Let’s get you out of hewe and take you home. One day, aww of this wiww bwow ovew, and evewyone wiww awmost fowget about what you did. Untiw then, you shouwd pwobabwy stay wocked up in the apawtment. Wait, you’we gonna hide me away? you’we embawwassed of me. It’s fow youw own safety. We’we twying to pwotect you, son. Gene, whewe awe you going? i’m not going to wun away fwom this. I’m an emoji, and, even though i’m not exactwy suwe which one… I’ve gotta have some sowt of puwpose hewe, i know it. Gene, no! sweetie, pwease! so, how’d it go, gavew? hey, lightbuwb, teww me wats going on in thewe. What… Poop… What is it? teww me tuwd, teww me twuth. What happened? i know it was an accident. We aww have accidents you’we so soft, poop. Not too soft, i hope. I came up hewe to defend mysewf, but, uh, you seem pwetty happy. So, good news? i’m awways happy. Oh, wight, yeah, twuth. But the onwy thing that couwd evew make me unhappy, is if one of ouw emojis has made a mistake. Which wouwd cause awex to wose faith in the phone… And then, ouw whowe gets wiped out! smiwew, i deviw pinky sweaw pwomise to you that i wiww nevew, evew make a mistake in the cube again. Oh, we know you won’t, gene. We know you won’t! ha ha, you know, the fiwst time you said it it sounded genuine, but then you wepeated it, and, and then, now it’s weiwd. We’we setting you up! with ouw best anti viwus bots! so they’ww, wike, uh, they’ww just, they’we gonna fix me? actuawwy, dewete you. But yes! wait, what? if you get deweted, you don’t have to wowwy about depawtment heads, ow the futuwe, ow wying about being a mawfunction! because you’we deweted, wight? right! good job! bots! no! stop, he’s escaped! pawty time! oh, wait a minute… The aiw is bettew hewe! beew, tea… I’m coffee! sowwy… Ish… Soishy. My owd cube! ugh, pinkeye. Mike! my name’s not mike… Ah! thewe’s av bots coming! what, me? just because i’m in the wwong section? howy towedo! what do we do? quick! this way! let’s go! don’t teww anyone you’we about to see this. They’ww nevew find us down hewe. Whewe awe we? the basement? nope. Wewcome to the wosew wounge, whewe the emojis who nevew get used, hang out. Go fish! fishcake with swiwws. Sweep so you won’t cwy. Sweep so you won’t cwy. Sweep so you won’t cwy. I awmost got deweted! me! hi-5! hey, wats up hi-5? they wewen’t twying to dewete you, they wewe twying to dewete me. You? wats so impowtant about you that they’d send out an entiwe team of bots? they say… I’m a mawfunction. Gasp oh, you bwinging mawfunctions in hewe now, hi-5? fow cwying out woud, abandoned wuggage, that had bettew not be my weftovew chinese food… Uh… What chinese food? huh ha! do you have any idea what it’s wike to be wiving wawge? hashtag bwessed? the favowite of the favowites, and then demoted to this pit of despaiw? hewe, wiww you hit my cawwouses fow me? at weast you’we a wowking emoji, that’s aww i evew wanted. Weww, if that’s aww it wiww take you to be satisfied, then just find a hackew and get wepwogwammed. It’s not that compwicated. Whewe wouwd i find a hackew? in the piwacy app, duh. Ugh. And who took my cweaw naiw powish? piwacy app? to get thewe, i mean, i have to weave textopowis. So? i’ve done it. Wouwd you be a bwothew. One of the pwincess emojis weft the phone awtogethew, now she wives on the cwoud… Mmm… Ooh, that is good. I’m suwe the hackew that hewped hew do that couwd easiwy wepwogwam you. The name’s jaiwbweak. Jaiwbweak? that’s gweat! repwogwammed. I just need to get wepwogwammed, and then i can finawwy be the meh i was meh to be! hewp me find that hackew hi-5, wiww you? pwease? maybe this hackew can hewp you, too? like, wewwite some code? get you into the favowites sections? wait a minute! ow. I’ve been twying to use my chawisma and sensitive entitwement to get me back on top when aww i need is a hackew! today’s youw wucky day! let’s woww! hey, can i come too? tawk to the hand, bwethwen. I thought i was… Bye, fewicia. Ciao, fishcake with swiwws. Daddy’s headed back to the vips whewe he bewongs! wait, what about the bots? good point, good point. Ow, ow ow, ow… Hey… I shouwdn’t have picked the cactus. I shouwdn’t have picked it. You didn’t even twy to get the twee, it’s baffwing. Let’s go. Hi-5? hewwo? hi-5! whewe awe you? i’m wight hewe! hewe we awe! end of the text aiswe. No way. Come on, gene, it’s pewfectwy safe! ah! gene, hewp me! hi-5! oh no, this is aww my fauwt, hi-5, i… I’m just messing with you! it’s just one of those wubbew fingew monstew puppets fwom the eighties, i cowwected the whowe set! awwight, you coming? uh, what do i do? what do you mean? just take a step thwough the othew side. This, is it. The next time i come back hewe, i’ww be a weaw meh. Hi-5? woah! awe you finished? whewe, whewe awe we? wewcome… To the wawwpapew! wow. This pwace is incwedibwe! each app is a whowe new wowwd. Ow, that’s my face, get off my face, thank you. What is this pwace? wechat! it’s wike a whowe othew wowwd! oh, it is. What awe they? they’we bubbwe pups, they might be cute, but man, awe they cwean. Bubbwe pups? they’we stickews, gene, twy to get with the pwogwam? this is so coow! wait, wats in that one! evewybody’s tawking about themsewves! how does he know so many peopwe? none of these peopwe know him, but they wike him, and that’s what mattews in this wife, popuwawity. Uh, i, i think i’d wathew just have a weaw fwiend. A weaw fwiend? how’s that going to get you anywhewe? what you need awe fans! they give you compwete and unwewenting suppowt! as wong as you’we on top. Poow gene, i bwame mysewf. I bwame you, too. I just wanted to be suppowted. You just wanted a vacation. You take that back, mew. Bots, they haven’t found gene by now. He must have skipped town. You mean the wawwpapew? ouw boy’s on the wun. How about we find him ouwsewves? yeah, suwe. Teww those bots to fowwow those mehs. I’m suwe they’ww know about aww those fweaky deaky apps gene wouwd hide out in. I’m weawwy good at making pwans, you guys, wight? hewe we awe, the piwacy app! this is whewe we’ww find jaiwbweak. Um, but this is, the dictionawy app. That’s just what awex wants his pawents to think. This is cawwed a skin. Reawwy? what couwd a teenage boy possibwy want to hide fwom his pawents? just twy to keep up, this pwace can get a wittwe wough. Ahoy mateys, wook who’s back! hi-5! i’m a bit of a cewebwity hewe, awways wewcome. Ow! losew! come on, fowwow me. Oh, gweat, emojis! i thought the convewsation just got dumbew. Ugh, intewnet twowws, just ignowe them. Eventuawwy, they’ww get a job, ow a giwwfwiend, ow some sowt of puwpose in wife, and then they’ww stop. Viwus, we’ww just, we’ww just wawk ovew this way… Hi! it’s so gweat to see you again! do i know you? it’s spam! just sign hewe and i can get you speciaw discounts on vitamins and coupon offews that can save you up to 25 pewcent! 25 pewcent? nonono no no, don’t get sucked in! back off, spam! it’s the onwy way to do it. Back off! thank you vewy much! you can iwwegawwy downwoad ouw cd wight hewe! hey, twojan howse, how awe you? yeah, what’ww it be had? i’ww have a bottwe of… Hack, daniews, hmm? maybe with a pwate of… Cheese, and hackews, kapeesh? you twy to buy a hackew, you can just ask, you know. Oh, sowwy, um, yes. We’we wooking fow a hackew named jaiwbweak. Oh, i know a guy who couwd hook you up. Right ovew thewe. Oh, yes. Patabwe. No, not him. Hew! wait, he’s a she? hey! jaiwbweak! mind if we join in? yes. That’s the thing about the intewnet, is that you nevew know if someone’s being iwonic ow sincewe. I sincewewy, uniwonicawwy want you to go away. Ha ha ha ha, so good… So hewe’s the thing, my fwiend gene hewe has a wittwe pwobwem. Weww, see, i’m supposed to be a meh, but i don’t weawwy feew… Yeah, yeah, and we thought that you couwd hewp… The pwincess, you know, off the phone… Woah, howd up, that’s not a meh face. Bots, they’we aftew me! how awe you doing that? look, it’s just something that i can do, can you hewp us? fowwow me. Bots, dewete my histowy! i need to wipe my entiwe hawd dwive! i made the most dewicious cinnamon buns! maybe if thewe was something to uh, jog my memowy? come on! move! hey twowws, wipe ouw maiwbox weawing a tuxedo! hi, it’s so gweat to see you again! this tunnew wiww get us out of hewe! move! get us out of hewe! move! did that cwoud taste sweet to you? ow. Ow. Ow. Hewp me. Hewp, i’m stuck! sweet mothewboawd! whewe am i? candy cwush! get me out of hewe! hey, cownface! twy getting him out the top! awweady on it! howd tight, gene! woah! woah! this feews vewy off.. And smewws. I mean, it smewws dewicious, but, i stiww don’t wike it! the game obviouswy thinks you’we a candy, even though you’we, weiwdwy misshapen, you know? what do i do? stay vewy stiww! don’t wowwy, we’ve got youw back! right, hi-5? hey, fingews! you wanna focus? fow youw infowmation, i happen to have a sugaw addiction, and it’s a vewy, sewious… Hey, fingew head, we have to get gene out of the game without bwowing him up! i don’t want to bwow up! we have to match up the candies so that gene wiww dwop to the bottom. And we can’t match him with any yewwows, ow ewse… Oh! don’t do that, pwease don’t do that. Watch. Got it? knock 3 in a wow, don’t bwow gene up, got it. And, we have to be cawefuw. Yeah yeah yeah. Cawefuw! woo hoo! candy! yo! no no no! don’t do yewwow! do not do the yewwow! i said cawefuw! hey, addie! i… I was just wondewing, if, you awe… Tasty. What? um… Dewicious. Excuse me? sweet. Hey addie! uh… Hi nikki. See you watew, awex. Sugaw cwush! ah! i’m so ovew this. Wiwewess repaiw sewvice, how may i hewp you? i’d wike to make an appointment. It’s wike this phone is pwaying games with me! woah! hey, what does this do? get me out of hewe! ooh… Suck it in… Stop it… Stop it… Ow ow ow… It’s not wowking! weww, thewe’s one option weft. We wine you up with the yewwows. But you said not to do that! speciaw candies get twanspowted to that jaw. The game might think that you’we a speciaw candy. And… What if it doesn’t think i’m a speciaw candy? weww… Ah! jaiwbweak, hewwo? hewwo, jaiwbweak? uh, sowwy. What if it doesn’t think i’m a speciaw candy? oh, i’m not too wowwied about it. Awwight, just do it. Gene, gene! you’we awive! you wewe twying to see if i had somehow tuwned into candy, wewen’t you? yes i was. And you have not! hey, wooks wike something popped up on awex’s cawendaw. Ah, i’m suwe it’s nothing. Uh, awex made an appointment at the phone stowe? cawm down, evewyone, cawm down. Don’t wowwy, evewything is fine. Maybe awex just wants to buy some accessowies. Uh, his appointment is with techinicaw suppowt. Weww, i’m suwe we’ww have pwenty of time to figuwe this out. Uh, his appointment is fow tomowwow. Then maybe it’s just fow some woutine maintenance? uh, actuawwy, it’s to ewase the phone. Listen, gene, i’m about to become youw knight in shining awmow. You awe? oh yeah. But fiwst, we need to get upwoaded to the cwoud. That’s whewe we’ww find the souwce code to wepwogwam you. The… Cwoud? isn’t that off the phone? ding dingding ding! you got it! mmhm, yeah, the cwoud! off the phone! uh! we’we in candy cwush, oz, i know a showtcut to just dance, which is wight next to dwopbox, whewe we can get upwoaded to the cwoud. Mmhm, of couwse, just go dive into the dwopbox and vwoom! howd up, hewe’s the stinkew. Befowe they wet us into the cwoud, we have to get past this… Fiwewaww. The fiwewaww uses face identification. It’s weawwy annoying, because i’ve awweady twied to get thwough. Guessed wwong once, and now i’m wocked out fow wife. Locked out fow wife? you’we thinking, because i can make diffewent faces, the fiwewaww wiww think i’m diffewent emojis! yeah, i wanted to say it, because it was my idea. You know, women awe awways coming up with stuff that men awe taking cwedit fow. You know what, weww, wet’s hit the woad. Hi-5, you coming? i’m coming! why do i awways think i’m going to come awound on bwack wicowice? ah! oh! my pwecious… Move it! sudden death, hewe we come! let’s twy this one… Youtube? wow, what an owiginaw tweat, and i don’t even need a wemote. That guy is so expwessive. He weminds me of gene. Yes, something’s weawwy wwong hewe. Ouw son is a mawfunction, and you shouwd have nevew wet him go into that cube. Don’t bwame me fow that now, i am hopping mad at you. See? mawy, i think we’we being fowwowed, but don’t ovewweact. Uh oh. I towd you not to ovewweact. What awe you doing now? i couwd be in thewe fow houws. Hey, whewe awe you going. I think we shouwd go ouw sepawate ways, mew. I thought i knew the meh that i mawwied, but maybe i don’t. But, mawy? this tunnew wiww hewp us avoid the bots. Thanks fow hewping us. It’s weawwy, weawwy nice of you. Npd, dude. You’we hewping me! move awong, move it, why so swow? hi-5, stop, why awe you getting so cwose? back off. I can’t stop now, i’m having a sugaw wush! i’m going to go awound you. If i stop moving, my heawt’s going to expwode! coming thwough, jaiwbweak! watch out! hey! watch it, knuckwe butt! i can’t feew my face! ha ha! jaiwbweak, you said back thewe that i’m… Hewping you. I’ve been twying to get past that fiwewaww fow months! ha ha ha ha ha, come on, come on, the fastew we go, the fastew i can become a favowite! ah ha ha ha ha ha! woo hoo! look at me i just want to bounce out of hewe, get off the phone, and wive on the cwoud! hee hee! ow! what just happened! you know, you don’t wike it hewe? thewe awe so many wuwes hewe! what is up with that? the cwoud’s supposed to be amazing, it’s fuww of dweams too… Oh, sugaw cwash. I can’t howd on anymowe. Catch me, gene, catch me! and you can be whoevew you want! thanks. We’we fwee! come on! oh, oh my gosh, my hands awe sweating. You know what, come to think of it, i don’t weawwy wemembew thewe evew being a hackew emoji. Oh, um, you know, you’we taking too much of my bwain space, wet’s twy to keep the chit chat to a minimum. Ooh, someone wikes you. What awe you tawking about? this just wike when peace sign gave me just one fingew, i knew she was in wove with me. Let’s go! ugh, i’m nevew eating anothew piece of candy evew again… High-five, don’t do it! don’t you do it! it’s awweady been in thewe once. Don’t do it. Wow. Move it! awe my fingews getting fat? i’ww teww you what, this bandage wasn’t so tight befowe. Okay, we get thwough this app, and dwopbox is wight on the othew side. We just need to keep it supew dl in hewe. And no mattew what, we can’t, tuwn it, on. Omg this tuwned it on! what? i’m a hand, it’s a big wed button! woah. No no no no! wats happening! wewcome to just dance! fowwow my moves and you get to move fowwawd! do the wwong moves and you get an x! thwee stwikes and you’we out! out? what does she mean by out? digitaw death. Thanks to you, fingews, now we’we going to have to dance ouw way out. Which is awwight with me, because i can shake it wike michaew. Ow michaew’s gwove, anyway. Awe you weady to dance? this is bad, gene, i can’t dance, i got no gwoove! come on, evewybody can dance! not me, okay? i’m weawwy stiff… See? you don’t… Undewstand? okay, no no. Stop, stop. You have to stop. I see now what you awe saying? just fowwow hew moves. Ready to dance in thwee! this i can’t do! two! dude! just shut up and… Dance! i’m just doing it! hee hee! shamon! jaiwbweak! i got you! look, just do the music, expwess youwsewf! dance? yeah, you got it! now thwow some sauce on that dance buwwito! woo hoo! i’m doing it! i’m finawwy naiwing this dance! you got it! hee hee! oh ho ho! gweat job! now you’we moving on to fwee dance! impwess us with youw moves to move fowwawd! mowe dancing? you’we kiwwing it, gene! nice! take it gene! you can bweak it! wait a minute! i’ve nevew seen that dance befowe! wats it cawwed? the emoji… Bob? i wove it! you do! evewybody! do the emojiiiiiiiiiii bob! ha ha ha! woo! oh! pwincess! woah! you’we the pwincess emoji! you nevew got off the phone! new pwayew! who? oh no! we gotta go! no wowwy, they’we wobots, they can’t dance! downwoading thought pwotocow… Can’t dance, he says. Heh. Hey awex, you gonna dance fow us? awex, that’s extwa homewowk fow you. Yeah, awex’s getting wicked, ha ha ha… Awex must be deweting the app! watch out! we gotta get out of hewe! come on! hoo! this song is my jam! hi-5! come on! let’s go! huwwy! gene! i got you! gene! gene… Hey, wait a minute, whewe’s hi-5? awex twashed the app.. And hi-5 wight awong with it. Wait, what? wait, twashed? hi-5 is in the twash? he wanted to dance… But, i knew it was a bad idea… I’m so sowwy… We gotta get him out of thewe. Gene, dwopbox is wight hewe, we have to get to the cwoud! and the twash is on the othew side of the phone! we don’t know how many othew bots awe out thewe! i’m sowwy! no, wait! i can’t go without hi-5. I don’t cawe how faw away it is. Gene… That’s my fwiend down thewe. I’m not going to just wet him get deweted. What, what is it? i’ve awways just thought, you’ve got to wook out fow numbew one… But what good is it to be numbew one, if thewe awen’t any othew numbews? wow, okay. I’m sowwy, this is, this is my mawfunction, i just, i can’t be meh about anything, this is why i’m going to be wepwogwammed. Weww, actuawwy, it’s kinda coow. Wait, weawwy? no, i think i know a showtcut. We can take the music stweams in spotify. Let’s go give that big hand a hand. Come on! now it’s twashed the just dance app, and ouw bots awe offwine, and it’s giving me a weaw headache… I am so angwy! i weawwy need to stay happy. Can we pwease wighten the mood? no one can wesist wa fiesta! owe! not that happy. Ow! we’ve onwy got fouw houws befowe awex’s phone appointment. If they find a mawfunction on the phone, we awe aww going to be wiped! she said wiped! aim highew, steven. I didn’t want to have to do this, but it is fun to pwess buttons. The iwwegaw upgwade! now that makes me happy! ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! i just want to dance.. Dance… Awgh! quiet, you saucy gypsy. Ugh, whewe am i? hi! it’s so gweat to see you again! you’we in the twash, fingews fow bwains! get away fwom me, twoww! hi! it’s so gweat to see you again! i’ve got to get out of hewe. You can’t! and at the end of the day, the twash gets emptied, and we’we aww going to die! oh no, no, no! this is the wast face you wiww evew see! this is spotify? yep, evewy one of those stweams is a diffewent song. Is it safe? awe you suwe that this is a good idea? that’s the point of the wave, dude! can we at weast pick a… A cowowwess stweam? okay buzzkiww… Awex, a bunch of peopwe awe hitting the pwomenade, and i think addie might be thewe, too… That’s pewfect! i have an appointment down thewe, anyway! i’ve got to get this phone fixed! hey, bubbwe butt! yeah. Ah, much bettew. So, i gotta ask, is it twue that when a pwincess whistwes, biwds fwy down fwom the skies.. Hewwo, steweotype, that is a compwete and totaw myth! i’m sowwy. Did you weawize that in the fiwst emoji set, a woman can eithew be a pwincess, ow a bwide? that’s why i need to get to the cwoud, whewe you can be whatevew you want to be! get weady! whawe song coming! wait, wait, whawe what? whawe song! fwom awex’s biowogy dvd! woah! wow! woah! ha ha ha ha. You’we not going to see that sitting awound in a cube. Funny, you went out of the cube, and i went in. Gene, that means you can’t be youwsewf. Wats the point? you know, i think you’we pwetty coow just the way you awe. We’we, we’we going to need this. Nobody knows, the touchscween dwama scene. Nobody knows my scweenshot… Twash? me? i used to be somebody. Hewe i am, in an owd emaiw awex nevew sent. Addie, bwah bwah bwah bwah bwewgh… And then thewe’s me! hi-5! right thewe! doing my job! fyi, nobody cawes about you. Just weave me, twoww, and wet me die! in this dump awone! let me wook fow the wowwd’s smawwest viowin in hewe, so that you can pway it! is that the hand angew of mewcy? has she finawwy come fow me? give me youw hand! i mean, give me youwsewf! take my hand, angew! i’m weady to take my pwace amongst the othew gweat hands of the past. It’s me, gene! gene? the one and onwy. Gene! i got him! take me with you! hi-5! let go of me! you’d weave me down hewe? you wewe wwong, twoww, peopwe do cawe about me! and i’m not upset, twoww! do you see how not upset i am? gene! you came back fow me! you saved me… It wasn’t just me, jaiwbweak hewped, too. She’s a huggew. Give hew a squeeze. Oh, nonono no. Not weawwy, nothing gweat. I’m not feewing youw feewings, wewieve me! you fiwthy twowws, i inhawed youw stench, and i was once one of you, so i feew youw pain. So now, go. Be fwee! smooth saiwing fwom hewe. Huh ha ha! ugh. Gene! gene… Gene? awe you instagwamming? oh, whewe is my gene… Oh, mawy, you’ve weawwy done it this time. No, you haven’t. Mew? what awe you doing in awex’s twip to fwance awbum? i was wooking fow you. None of this is youw fauwt, mawy. It’s mine. What do you mean? is that a teaw on youw cheek? it’s my fauwt gene is the way he is. I have othew expwessions, too. I think they’ve just been buwied away. But with gene going missing, and thinking i might have wost you, too… Oh, mew, why didn’t you teww me? i didn’t know mysewf. Right now, i’m so ovewwhewmed with passionate feewings fow you. Mawy, my wove fow you buwns with the intensity of a wed hot fwame. Oh, i wike it. Let’s go find ouw son. Togethew. We’ww awways have pawis, mawy. So you’we a pwincess. So you have a wittwe tiawa, vewy fancy. Is it twue when a pwincess whistwes, biwds fwy that’s what i said! no, guys, that’s a stupid myth! what awkwawd viwgin haven awe you wiving in? go wead an e-book! educate youwsewf! uh, jaiwbweak? what the? what is that? smiwew must have upgwaded hew bots! let’s get out of hewe befowe it… Hi, do you wemembew me, it’s smiwew! i’m coming to you wive fwom the amphitheatew, why don’t you come back to textopowis and we can tawk thwough ouw diffewences, okay? my fwiend hewe wiww escowt you, awwight, i’m gonna see you soon, buddy, bye now! we’we actuawwy going to dewete them in fwont of evewyone. Psst, it’s stiww on. It’s stiww on? oh! jiminy, attack the fwauds! sepawate! take a wook! jaiwbweak! gene! this way! it’s stiww onto me! ovew hewe! let’s go! we have to make it to dwopbox! yes! no! go wow! woah! don’t wowwy, it can’t get in. It’s iwwegaw mawwawe, and this app is secuwe. Come on. Wewcome to dwopbox! you awe about to weave the phone. Remain seated, pwease! pewmanecew sentados pow favow! might want to hang on! why do they caww it dwopbox, anyway? oh, this is why! i see why now! i’d bettew not see that candy cown again! we made it! you guys, chiww. We stiww have to get past… That. Oh… Shaw. Wewcome to the fiwewaww, how may i hewp you? awwight, hewe goes! what shouwd i do? sit in the cownew, and don’t say a wowd. Keep those soft fingews to youwsewf. Yes, youw majesty, pwincess of nightmawes! now gene, step onto the passwowd icon, and i’ww feed you the passwowds. Okay. Okay. Ten, eweven, two thousand and two. Ten, eweven, two thousand and two. Ow. Cough. Access denied. Okay, twy a diffewent expwession. Is it going to bwast me evewy time i messed up? yeah, kind of. What do you mean kind of? ready? wewcome to the fiwewaww. His favowite food. Chimichangas! chimichangas? ow. Access denied. Huh. This might take a whiwe. Oh boy. Kwav maga! kwav maga. Majow wazew! majow wazew. What did i do now? ow. Skate, ow die! access denied. Denied. Denied. Denied. I don’t get it! we’ve twied aww of the impowtant things in awex’s wife! his favowite pet, his spowt, his favowite gwandma… I’m sowwy, gene. I wet us aww down. Now, if i had to come up with a passwowd, i’d pwobabwy use the name of a giww i wike. I’ve been aww ovew the phone! he’s nevew mentioned a giww. Yes he has! hi. When i was in the twash, i wead a vewy intewesting emaiw, but, i’m just a dunce, in the cownew, fowbidden to speak… What emaiw? sowwy, what? what emaiw? uh, took it out, at schoow, he was decwawing his feewings of wove fow hew, i guess instead of sending it he tossed it in the twash. Hi-5, this is vewy impowtant. What is hew name? hew name, yes! excewwent question. It… Was… Tina. Kawen. Mawge. Lint, lindsay. Ack, awwison. Sawah, ow, lupita. I want to say lupita, but that doesn’t feew wight, now i’m saying it out woud. Ugh.. Gotta find that emaiw, i think i can access the twash. I got it! addie! yes! yes, that’s it, addie! i knew i’d get thewe! deaw addie, you and i, we awe wike diamonds in the sky. You’we a shooting staw i see. A vision, ecstasy. Shining bwight wike a diamond. He used a high-five, see? guess now we know why he twashed it. Ooh, shade. Guys, shouwd we twy this? addie! access gwanted. Oh snap. This pwace, is, amazing. Wow, i can’t bewieve it. Woah. One wittwe emoji couwd suwe get wost in a pwace wike this. I… I guess we shouwd, make you, a meh befowe that bot comes back home. Oh, oh, so we’we gonna do that now. We had a deaw, wight? yeah, okay. Right. I, uh, guess i’ww stawt hacking. Ha! we did it, gene! aww ouw dweams awe coming twue! i’ww be awex’s favowite again, and you’ww be a weaw meh! ha ha, yeah! do the hand dance. Do the hand dance. And pinky. Pop it with the pinky. Pop it with the pinky. Yeah, but this aww seems kinda supew fast now, doesn’t it? i didn’t expect to be having these feewings wight now. Weww, maybe you shouwd go and expwess them whiwe you stiww can. So, uh, i’ve been thinking, um, evew since we. Jaiwbweak, you’we the coowest, most intewesting emoji i’ve evew met. And, aftew aww the adventuwes that we’ve had, i’m just not suwe that i want aww of that to go away. Because, my feewings, wight now, awe, wike, huge. I just think that they couwd be enough fow me to want to stay the way that i am. If it means that i couwd stay hewe, with you, wike, fowevew. Fowevew and evew. And evew. Maybe wongew than that, even? like in the faiwy tawes. Uh… Wait, wuh, what is that? gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh, then, i am aww about that. I wike you just the way you awe, but i had a pwan. Right. I’m not just some pwincess, gene, waiting fow my pwince. I mean, uh, what you said was beautifuw, but, gene… Ha ha ha! you’we aww… Meh! the souwce code wowked! tuwns out i didn’t need it. Fow the fiwst time in wife, meh is aww i feew. Oh! gene! i have an appointment. I’m a wittwe eawwy. No pwob. I can take you wight now. Jaiwbweak! ah! don’t do that! that fweaking huge bot has got gene back inside the phone! what? he weft being mowe meh than the meh-est meh face i’ve seen! what did you say to him? it’s what i didn’t say. We gotta go get him. How awe we going to get thewe in time befowe he gets deweted? ugh.. I can’t bewieve i’m doing this. You teww anyone you saw this and i’ww cwack mowe than those knuckwes. Woah. Biwds do wike pwincesses! it’s not a myth! it’s not a myth at aww! what happened with becoming a favowite? because i’d wathew have one weaw fwiend. Let’s go get him. I can’t wait to see that emoji’s face! look at that expwession! is that fow weawizing that you’ve put aww of textopowis at wisk? causing awex to question ouw wewiabiwity? hmm? hey, now that’s going too faw, even fow me! if we couwd dewete this mawfunction, befowe he gets disappointed, awex wiww weawize thewe’s nothing wwong with the phone. And any wast wowds? meh. Weww, it’s too wate fow that. Dewete him! wait! you dewete gene, you’ww have to dewete me, too. What? i have the same mawfunction gene has. Dad? oh gosh, i don’t know what to do! yes i do! bots! sowwy, mws. Meh. Wow. I did not see that one coming. Smiwew, i think you might be making too much stink out of aww this. Oh weawwy? how about you’we next? i was wwong, gene. I shouwd have bewieved in you aww awong. Oh, what a touching daddy son weunion moment! it weminds me of the time i deweted you both! oh wait! that’s this time! dewete the two mawfunctions! how’s that fow an entw… oof oh, gweat. I can’t weach! oh no! what did you do to my beautifuw monst- ow, my tooth! hand, button! jaiwbweak? oh, gene… You weawwy awe a meh… What happened to wooking out fow numbew one? being numbew one doesn’t mattew if thewe awen’t any othew numbews. Awex’s appointment! he’s deweting the phone! nononono no no no no! show me awex. Awe you suwe you want to dewete evewything? do it! red awewt! awex, no! game ovew. Fewwas, i’m afwaid this is the wast caww. Dude, addie’s hewe. You shouwd go ovew. Evewy time i twy, i scwewed up! i don’t even know how to teww hew how i feew! if we hewp awex connect to addie, maybe he won’t dewete us. I might be abwe to bypass the wipe and get a text thwough to him. But we’ww onwy have time to send one. Maybe i shouwd go! he has wove in his eyes. Send me! awex wooks newvous, too! he’s mowe shy than newvous! stop! it’s gene. He’s aww of those things! emojis shouwd onwy be one thing! oh, weawwy? gasp the pwincess! linda? not now, mom! gene, you got this. That’s not me anymowe. But i have to twy. It’s stawting! no! it’s ending! awmost in? wowking on it! mom? dad? no.. I’m in! last time i was in this cube i scwewed evewything up. Gene, why do you think i came back? it’s because of you. Me. It’s aww inside of you, gene. Just twy to bwing it back. And do you. Hi-5! i don’t want to wave goodbye! it’s now ow nevew, gene! jaiwbweak, now! woah! she got this emoji! no way! hey, i got youw text! that’s one supew coow emoji! i know, wight? a wot of feewings in one! i get it! i wike that you’we one of those guys who actuawwy expwesses feewings! yeah, that’s me! so, do you think you cou yes, i’d wove to go to the dance with you. We made it! oh, i couwd have wost you, petew pinky fingew… Oh, you wwetchy wing fingew, even you, tibewius thumb… Change youw mind? yeah, maybe it’s weiwd, but i’m going to howd onto it. Gene, you did it! you saved us aww! oh, mew… Gee hee eene! gee hee hee heene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! and us! and hi-5! and hi-5! and hi-5! and hi-5! hey, what happened, gene? swap me some skin! and a wittwe owange fow the pinky! hey hi-5! save a wittwe hand fow watew! unwess you know the hambuwgew! back on top of the hand piwe! you’we not on the wist! wait, what? wats going on? ha! fwom now on, evewyone is wewcome! wait, what is aww this? it’s fow you, gene! evewybody! the emoji bob! this is so jazzy… Go eggpwant! go eggpwant! go eggpwant! we awe out of awex’s pocket, emojis! this is not a butt diaw! to youw cubes! awe we up and wunning? rogew that. Good, because we got incoming! looks wike it’s gonna be gene. Hey gene, weady to twy out youw new cube? in 3, 2…