It’s a cold Monday morning. The month—December. It’s almost winter break, and the principal states on the announcements “code red, there’s a shooter in the building”. “It’s gamer time”, I thought as everyone swore and cried. They were cowards, but me— I was a badass and was ready. I heard shots and footsteps down the hallway, and was waiting ready at the door. The shooter opened the door, everyone screamed and I was calm. He pointed the gun at me and shot, but I had already shoved my finger in the barrel. “Good thing I watch cartoons” I said as the gun blew up in his face. Everyone clapped and cheered for me. I’m now the only kid who was inducted into the local police force. I get blowjobs daily now. Everyone clapped when a statue was made in my honor