Watermelons are so fucking shit it’s unbearable.

Especially during summer, it’s custom to eat watermelons at the beach or at a picnic with a happy face and the fact that everyone has to put up a facade of watermelon tolerancy when honestly everyone dislikes it and would be better off eating literally anthing else (to note some of the superior fruits: apples, lemons, berries, bananas etc…) makes me puke.

If by any chance you feel offended by my statement because you enjoy eating watermelon, first off, your taste buds are completely fucking destroyed, talk to your doctor to have a surgery and have them replaced, and second, you’re wrong, watermelons are scientifically proven to be unpleasing to the mouth, ignoring the seeds factor, which gives the fruit a inconsistent texture and a very viscid feeling in the mouth, the taste a watermelon releases when crushed in the mouth is comparable to a mix of water, small amount of sugar, dirt, cum and shit.

I remember biting into a watermelon once, i was at the beach and a random group of guys from another country (probably israel) shared a slice with me and my friends.

Immediately after putting the bit of watermelon in my mouth i was beginning to realize my fatal error, and i had the confirm after crushing it with my teeth, I immediately felt sick, i spat out the watermelon bits as fast as i could in the water and hastened to wash my mouth with the salty water of the sea, which in comparison to the previously tasted fruit, felt like holy water.

Ever since it has become my mission to alert everyone of the danger watermelons pose to the human society, i cannot stand seeing more people that fake liking watermelons for fear of social rejection, our current social situation could be compared to a future dystopian society where watermelons are the few elites controlling what we think through a strict series of social rules and customs (such as the tradition of eating watermelons in the summer or that watermelons are good and healthy infact watermelons can actually cause problems such as nausea diarrhea indigestion and bloating) and everyone who openly criticizes the unquestioned rule of watermelons gets ostracized by society, which is a mass controlled through radicalized medias and customs that has lost the willpower to question the taste of watermelons, thus getting subdued and integrated as just another gear of the enourmous machine of the dystopian watermelon society.

Have you ever wondered why it is illegal to eat lemons directly unless cut in slices and put in cocktails or just drank as liquid?

You may be thinking “i have eaten lemons without anything else before it’s not illegal what the fuck?” and exactly there, you have been integrated in the dystopian watermelon society without even realizing.

I dare you, now that you have been enlightened to eat a lemon and go on living as if it never happened: in 4 hours you will be framed for crimes against humanity, in 8 hours police will be at your door with an arrest warrant, in 12 to 24 hours you will be transported to a maximum security federal prison and executed without trial, all because you opposed the watermelon society.

Don’t eat watermelons