I was only 9 years old, I loved Phil Swift so much, I had all the products and merchandise, every night I pray to Phil, thanking him for flex tape, my dad hears me and calls me retarded,I called him an asswipe,he slaps me and sends me to bed, I’m crying,my face hurts now, I’m so cold,I feel a warmth beside me, it’s Phil! I’m so happy, he whispers into my ear and says “With the power of Flex Tape” I’m ready I open my mouth for Phil he pushes so hard in a mighty force i want to please Phil he roars a mighty roar as he puts flex tape in my asshole,my dad walks in Phil looks at him straight in the eyes and says,”that’s alotta damage” Phil Swift flies out my window Phil Swift is love Phil Swift is life