I (19M) attended a high school about 20 minutes by car but having a younger sibling and both parents working more than full time, I had to get myself to school. The train was the easiest option, with no school buses running close to my place. The train was taken by students from many schools, who for some reason or another always seemed to be cooler than me and my mates, so I took every word they said as gospel. One day I was on the 20 min train ride home from school, and this guy was telling some (I now realise, likely bullshit) story of how he sprained his hand. He recounted to us younger lads how he was fingering some chick and she sneezed, supposedly contracting her whole body and getting his fingers stuck inside, now sprained. Now, being the horny af 14-year-old I was, I thought this was fuckin hot. I had discovered porn but for the most part liked to wank by myself and my own imagination.

Here’s the problem. Being a 14-year-old, socially awkward Christian boy who went to an all-boys school, there was little in the way of imaginative content that came my way, so I latched onto this. Most days, for several months, this would be my imagined content for my night-time masturbation. In essence, when wanking, I thought of sneezing.

One day, I don’t even remember when, I STARTED sneezing. I had no idea why, not understanding the implications of what i was doing at all. Now, five years later, I still sneeze without fail, even when thinking of being horny and in turn, any sneeze I have turns me on. I bet any future wife of mine is in for a big surprise.