Today is my first cake day and I demand gold and at least 420 upvotes. If you disobey, you are not following the laws of cake and you will be shamed by the fine reddit folk who actually DO FOLLOW THE LAWS OF CAKE, UNLIKE YOU. This shaming will result in you debating your entire existence. This mental debate will begin once you read a comment left by a fine folk of reddit, saying “bruh you’re unradical.” See, your whole life you’ve been raised to be a radical human, and if you’re whole life has lead to this one moment only to figure out that you are in fact NOT radical, what was the point of it all? Why exist? This and many other comments will take a toll on your entire life and you will forever remain traumatized by what you have done and what you deserved from the fine reddit folk. This will all be because you did not follow the laws of cake. So, now is your chance to save yourself from the horrendous future you will be given if you don’t do what I command. I now repeat, I demand at least gold from a user and 420 upvotes. Obey me. Or there will be consequences.