As his pants slid slowly down his muscular thighs, revealing his thick erection, I noticed with relief that there were no skid marks in his undies or crusty gunk stuck to his penis. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me, his tongue dancing against mine in a way that had me thanking any gods that would listen that he didn’t have breath like my ex, who smelled like something crawled in his mouth and died. As he trailed kisses down my neck, between my breasts, over my abdomen, and then further still, I was so grateful I’d finished my period last week and there wouldn’t be any nasty clots tangled in my pubic hair.