Like any normal man sometimes you’re home alone and you get a little bored and decide why the fuck not and load up everyone’s favorite black and orange website. I personally prefer to do my business on the toilet because clean up is quick and easy when all you have to do is flush afterwards. So there I am phone in one hand while the other is scrambling around like NASA preparing for launch and liftoff is fast approaching.

Here comes the fuck up as the countdown gets closer to zero I prepare by moving further back on the seat so that all I have to do is aim the incoming projectile into the water below. Somehow in doing so my leg caught the underside of the lever and pushed it upwards, releasing a gushing torrent of water at the underside of my sack as liftoff was occurring and no free hands to push the lever down with. Water is spraying everywhere, the floor, the walls, everywhere.

In a moment of pure stupidity I decided I would at least finish my initial business before turning off the water since at least then I would have a free hand with which to accomplish this feat. After this was all said and done I now had to spend a few minutes cleaning up all the water that had been sprayed around the room. Nothing was damaged in this except perhaps my pride slightly.

TL;DR 2 nozzles fired different substances in opposing directions at the same time. No streams were crossed

(Found on r/TIFU))