The results of using tattoo numbing cream for sex… (NSFW)

My tattoo artist got some extremely strong numbing cream with lidocaine, epinephrine, menthol, and like 3 other local numbing ingredients. It works WONDERS… however I decided to try it for sex… I put a glob of it on the part of the enemy bulbs that go up your butt and let it sit for like an hour…

The guy finally comes over and I had THE BEST SEX OF MY LIFE. The numbing cream made the dick easier to take and I was riding it in all kinds of positions for hours. (We literally just drank, smoked, chilled naked watching porn, and had sex multiple times). We flip flopped and he even used the numbing stuff and we were just going for hours.

….The next day

I go to take a shit and it BURRRRNNNNSSSS like REALLY BAD!!! I open my cheeks facing the mirror and see literally a purple ring around my ass hole. It hurt so bad and it was a big bloody hemorrhoid. It got so bad I went to the ER and they said I had “anus prolapse” or something. Now I have to take an oral antibiotic and they gave me 2 creams to put on it. To make it better, the nurse is someone I went to high school with!

So for the first like 3 days I had to keep a wet wipe wedged between my asscrack so that it would stop leaking blood and liquidy “waste” (my hole was wrecked). It’s been about 2 weeks now and it’s finally tightened back up but it’s still very sensitive.

Tl;dr: Don’t use tattoo numbing cream for anal because you won’t realize how hard you’re going and will have an embarrassing ER trip