NI Ckelodeon

SONG 1: AIRBENDER (AIRBAG) [AVATAR]

In the arctic wastes, in a great big ball of ice

I am born again

In the Water Tribe, pacifist and nice

I am born again

I’m the legendary one, destined to master all four of the elements

In a black steel ship,

The Fire Nation comes to burn us to a crisp

They forget that I am now the biggest Gary Stu

In all of the Nicktoons

I’m the legendary one, destined to master all four of the elements

I’m the legendary one, destined to master all four of the elements

SONG 2: COWARDLY WALLABY (PARANOID ANDROID) [ROCKO’S MODERN LIFE]

Please, no more cheap sex jokes; I’m TRY’NA get some rest

From all the choking chicken VOICES IN MY HEAD

OH MY (I may be Australian, but not a kangaroo)

OH MY (Filburt may be greedy, cowardly and selfish, but totally not a Jew)

Con-Glom-O’s king, and O-Town’s first against the wall

Their leader, Ed, has no respect for anything at all

OH MY (he may be arrogant, but not smart)

OH MY (his name is Mr. Bighead, and he’s a sniveling old fart)

Your grass hair MAKES you look like a LECHER

Wolf-raised, fatass, brainless spineless HEIFER

EVERYONE HATES ME! EVERYONE HATES ME! WHY WON’T PEOPLE JUST LET ME BE?!

I’M SICK OF LIVING IN THIS CORRUPT WORLD! ALWAYS CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP IN FETAL CURL!

Modern life here’s anything but civil

Filburt tore out his own housewife’s liver just to pay the bills

Though it’s replaced, the same cannot be said

For when we were well-fed and weren’t better off…dead…

THAT’S IT SIR, YOU’RE BIG DEAD, ALONG WITH, YOUR WIFE, ED

IT’S JUST THE BEGINNING; I’LL BURN THE WHOLE DAMNED BUILDING

FROM THE ROOF, I’M SELF-THROWN WHILE USING MY O-PHONE

TO TAKE A SELFIE…FALLING TO MY DEATH, WHEE

SONG 3: EGOMANIACAL, HOMICIDAL ZIM (SUBTERRANEAN, HOMESICK ALIEN) [INVADER ZIM]

The brains of the humans…I keep forgetting that they even have such a thing

They’re nothing but pigs for our mass-slaughtering,

Brainwashing and the organic harvest

Up above, the Almighty Tallest

(Are) Looking down on me like the snobs they are

Just because I never succeed in my mission

And have a sidekick as dumb as a wrecked car

My name

IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM

IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM

I wish that they’d flock to the new shopping mall

And its store called Hot Topic (where they’d)

Buy all my merch with their beautiful dollars

So I can kill all of those emo pricks (and steal it)

I’d tell all my friends but they’d never believe me

They’d think that I’ve finally lost it completely

I’d show them the guts and the blood of virgins,

But they’d shut me away

In solitary confines

(LET IT BE KNOWN TO THIS ENTIRE SNIVELING AND PATHETIC JOKE OF A UNIVERSE THAT)

My name IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM

IT’S ZIM, IT’S ZIM, IT’S ZIM, IT’S ZIM

DESTROY ALL HUMANS

SONG 4: ENVIOUS RAMBLINGS OF A PSYCHOTIC CHIHUAHUA (EXIT MUSIC FOR A FILM) [REN & STIMPY, MORE SPECIFICALLY A CERTAIN INCREDIBLY INFAMOUS SCENE FROM THE “FAN CLUB” EPISODE]

I was so nice, so very nice today

To those insipid, dumb ingrates

Look at my hands, so calloused and worn-out from

Writing answers to their letters (so dumb)

I…AM…THE…PRESIDENT…of…HIS…fan club…

I…AM…THE…MUCH BETTER…character…OF US…

How easily I could end this whole farce

He’s…such a fool…such a DUNCE…

With these hands…these DIRTY hands…

I hold the combined fate of MILLIONS

(THEY) THINK…HE’S A GOD…BUT HE’S AS MORTAL AS WE

I hope that he chokes, that he chokes,

I hope that he chokes, that he chokes,

I hope Stimpy chokes, STIMPY CHOKES

SONG 5: RUG RATS (LET DOWN) [RUGRATS]

I hate

Living with all these kids

All of which are spoiled

Selfish and entitled

So ungrateful and coddled

Disappointed toddlers

Clinging onto bottles

They make me feel so, so tired and awful

Our precious little rug rats

Everyone’s favorite brats

Our precious little rug rats

Food fight

Spaghetti flying

Smeared shite

Babies crying

Guess it’s time to order

Some more brand-new wallpaper

One day

I am gonna make some

Mother FUCKING pudding

For Angelica the slut

AT FOUR IN THE MORNING

Our precious little rug rats

Everyone’s favorite brats

Our precious little rug rats

I am

Going fucking crazy

(The) Babies are so lazy

Can’t even move without bouncing balls, see

One day

They are gonna grow up

And become my worst nightmare

All cynical and garish

Fashion-obsessed yups

Our precious little rug rats

Everyone’s favorite brats

Our precious little rug rats

SONG 6: DANNY PHANTOM (KARMA POLICE) [DANNY PHANTOM]

Danny Phantom, the ghost phenom

Friendly neighborhood Danny J Phantom

He captures ghost crooks just like flies

He lives in our world, but is spectral

He becomes a ghost completely at his will

With himself, he can’t live or die

Sure, the ghosts can fly, but they still can’t hide

Danny knows their ways, and they always pay

Danny Phantom has fangirls up the ass for good reason

He’s arrogant and suave (with) hair even sleeker than his skin

Sure, the ghosts can fly, but they still can’t hide

Danny knows their ways, and they always pay

I LOVE HIS SHOW SO MUCH; PLEASE BRING IT BACK, PLEASE BRING IT BACK

I LOVE HIS SHOW SO MUCH; PLEASE BRING IT BACK, PLEASE BRING IT BACK

I LOVE HIS SHOW SO MUCH; PLEASE BRING IT BACK, PLEASE BRING IT BACK

I LOVE HIS SHOW SO MUCH; PLEASE BRING IT BACK, PLEASE BRING IT BACK

SONG 7: KIDDIER, CRAPPIER (FITTER, HAPPIER) [MODERN NICK]

Kiddier, crappier

Less cerebral

Cheap to make

Not budgeted too much

Spongebob Squarepants all day (7 days a week)

Always was far better than its vastly overrated Rocko contemporary

Admit it

Commercials (advertising microwave dinners and useless toys)

Calmer and more sterile shows

With safer jokes (no more phone-sex innuendo)

Or love motels (or frog cucks)

No adult humor

Careful to all animals (no mashing wallabies’ brains in juicers)

Never taking any risks (One Coarse Meal never existed)

Will frequently force memes in (Spongebob) episodes (most especially)

Kid shows only for little kids

Stylistic but not substantial

Censorship standing orders

Spongebob balloons at every supermarket

No intelligent satire or clever innuendo in the shows

Brainwash (America’s children)

No more Afraid Of The Dark

Or Kenan And Kel

Nothing so ridiculously nostalgia-pandering

Nothing so childish

At a lazier pace

Slower and less refined

No good shows stay

Now viewers are

Concerned (but powerless)

Empowered and informed members of society (know that our 90s era is outdated garbage)

Will constantly recite memes in public

More chance of laughter

Sitcoms that are all the same (just like on Disney Channel)

Dan Schneider’s foot fetish

Still crying at Where’s Gary

Still laughing at Face Freeze

No longer tasteful and smart

Like a teen

From the upper class

That’s proudly binge-watched

Rocko’s Modern Shit (the pretension to laugh at society)

Dumb

Kiddier, crappier and less interesting

A channel

On a deathbed

And pathetically desperate life support (known as The Loud House)

SONG 8: TEENAGE ENGINEERING (ELECTIONEERING) [MY LIFE AS A TEENAGE ROBOT]

I will save

I will save society

Once we fix my

Teenage engineering

I’ll trust myself to never spaz out

Well, my life as a

Teenage robot

Hasn’t been the best

But I now promise

I’ll save the world

And pass my robot test

Aliens

Hooligans and robots

Just like myself

Attacking Earth and I…AM…SCARED

I’ll trust my fuel to never run out

Well, my life as a

Teenage robot

Hasn’t been the best

But I now promise

I’ll save the world

And pass my robot test

SONG 9: YOU’RE THE REAL MONSTERS (CLIMBING UP THE WALLS) [AAAHH REAL MONSTERS]

We are the reason Nickelodeon

Keeps the 90s in its basement

And if we gross you out enough

You just might dry-heave your whole lunch

We are your face when you see Squidward’s

Entire toenail ripped off

Or Spongebob’s swollen, infected thumb

All spraying green garbage sludge

And even if we may

Be cancelled

We will still remain

In kids’ souls

YOU’RE THE REAL MONSTERS

We always hoped to give you nightmares

But mostly everyone just stares

(We’re) Just plain gross and annoying and weird

We never cause any real fear

So just dismiss us as a bore

Call us a Ren (And) Stimpy copy

It’s not like we haven’t heard it before

You think Rocko’s underrated? PLEASE

Even if we may

Be cancelled

We will still remain

In kids’ souls

YOU’RE THE REAL MONSTERS

YOU’RE THE REAL MONSTERS

YOU’RE THE REAL MONSTERS

SONG 10: NO MORE SPONGEBOB (NO SURPRISES) [MODERN SPONGEBOB]

The ocean’s filled up like a landfill

My salary’s pitiful

My show’s old and stale

I’m now lame and irrelevant

Please let my series end

I’m not

Funny anymore

Please let me kill myself

So I can

Rest on the classic shelf

No more stolen Rocko concepts

No more nasty gross-out cringe-fests

No more wishing I was at my best

Kill me

Kill me

This is my final flip

My final Krabby Patty

No more burger-making for me

No more hijinks with my besties

No more hunting jellyfish with glee

Such a pretty dome and such a pretty woman

No more Patrick, no more Sandy

No more Krabs and no more Squiddie

No more Plankton (and) no more of me, please

SONG 11: BRAINY (LUCKY) [JIMMY NEUTRON]

I’ve gotta blast

To my mirror

To fix

My stupid ice-cream hair

My parents say

I’m smart as hell,

But I

Do not apply myself well

Let’s see you build a rocket

Out of scraps from the yard

The junkyard, to be exact

Yeah, it’s pretty freaking hard

The principal has called for me by name

But I don’t have time for her

I’m working on my GREATEST INVENTION

It’ll make my friends smarter

Zoom into my ear canal

See my very own brain

Genius by the gallons

Ideas that might be insane

But at least they’re not inane

SONG 12: THE BORIST (THE TOURIST) [DOUG]

I impress no-one else but me

And nostalgia-tards

I guess Patty Mayonnaise may count too

And I play guitar

Hey Klotz, leave me

Alone

Idiot, leave me

Alone

Sometimes I will wear my undies

Inside out in publique

They ask me what the Hell I’m doing

(I’m) Compensating for being boring

I can always

Dream of

Being interesting

(And in)vesting

Why is my show

So tame?

Who am I kidding

I’m lame