NI Ckelodeon
SONG 1: AIRBENDER (AIRBAG) [AVATAR]
In the arctic wastes, in a great big ball of ice
I am born again
In the Water Tribe, pacifist and nice
I am born again
I’m the legendary one, destined to master all four of the elements
In a black steel ship,
The Fire Nation comes to burn us to a crisp
They forget that I am now the biggest Gary Stu
In all of the Nicktoons
I’m the legendary one, destined to master all four of the elements
I’m the legendary one, destined to master all four of the elements
SONG 2: COWARDLY WALLABY (PARANOID ANDROID) [ROCKO’S MODERN LIFE]
Please, no more cheap sex jokes; I’m TRY’NA get some rest
From all the choking chicken VOICES IN MY HEAD
OH MY (I may be Australian, but not a kangaroo)
OH MY (Filburt may be greedy, cowardly and selfish, but totally not a Jew)
Con-Glom-O’s king, and O-Town’s first against the wall
Their leader, Ed, has no respect for anything at all
OH MY (he may be arrogant, but not smart)
OH MY (his name is Mr. Bighead, and he’s a sniveling old fart)
Your grass hair MAKES you look like a LECHER
Wolf-raised, fatass, brainless spineless HEIFER
EVERYONE HATES ME! EVERYONE HATES ME! WHY WON’T PEOPLE JUST LET ME BE?!
I’M SICK OF LIVING IN THIS CORRUPT WORLD! ALWAYS CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP IN FETAL CURL!
Modern life here’s anything but civil
Filburt tore out his own housewife’s liver just to pay the bills
Though it’s replaced, the same cannot be said
For when we were well-fed and weren’t better off…dead…
THAT’S IT SIR, YOU’RE BIG DEAD, ALONG WITH, YOUR WIFE, ED
IT’S JUST THE BEGINNING; I’LL BURN THE WHOLE DAMNED BUILDING
FROM THE ROOF, I’M SELF-THROWN WHILE USING MY O-PHONE
TO TAKE A SELFIE…FALLING TO MY DEATH, WHEE
SONG 3: EGOMANIACAL, HOMICIDAL ZIM (SUBTERRANEAN, HOMESICK ALIEN) [INVADER ZIM]
The brains of the humans…I keep forgetting that they even have such a thing
They’re nothing but pigs for our mass-slaughtering,
Brainwashing and the organic harvest
Up above, the Almighty Tallest
(Are) Looking down on me like the snobs they are
Just because I never succeed in my mission
And have a sidekick as dumb as a wrecked car
My name
IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM
IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM
I wish that they’d flock to the new shopping mall
And its store called Hot Topic (where they’d)
Buy all my merch with their beautiful dollars
So I can kill all of those emo pricks (and steal it)
I’d tell all my friends but they’d never believe me
They’d think that I’ve finally lost it completely
I’d show them the guts and the blood of virgins,
But they’d shut me away
In solitary confines
(LET IT BE KNOWN TO THIS ENTIRE SNIVELING AND PATHETIC JOKE OF A UNIVERSE THAT)
My name IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM, IS ZIM
IT’S ZIM, IT’S ZIM, IT’S ZIM, IT’S ZIM
DESTROY ALL HUMANS
SONG 4: ENVIOUS RAMBLINGS OF A PSYCHOTIC CHIHUAHUA (EXIT MUSIC FOR A FILM) [REN & STIMPY, MORE SPECIFICALLY A CERTAIN INCREDIBLY INFAMOUS SCENE FROM THE “FAN CLUB” EPISODE]
I was so nice, so very nice today
To those insipid, dumb ingrates
Look at my hands, so calloused and worn-out from
Writing answers to their letters (so dumb)
I…AM…THE…PRESIDENT…of…HIS…fan club…
I…AM…THE…MUCH BETTER…character…OF US…
How easily I could end this whole farce
He’s…such a fool…such a DUNCE…
With these hands…these DIRTY hands…
I hold the combined fate of MILLIONS
(THEY) THINK…HE’S A GOD…BUT HE’S AS MORTAL AS WE
I hope that he chokes, that he chokes,
I hope that he chokes, that he chokes,
I hope Stimpy chokes, STIMPY CHOKES
SONG 5: RUG RATS (LET DOWN) [RUGRATS]
I hate
Living with all these kids
All of which are spoiled
Selfish and entitled
So ungrateful and coddled
Disappointed toddlers
Clinging onto bottles
They make me feel so, so tired and awful
Our precious little rug rats
Everyone’s favorite brats
Our precious little rug rats
Food fight
Spaghetti flying
Smeared shite
Babies crying
Guess it’s time to order
Some more brand-new wallpaper
One day
I am gonna make some
Mother FUCKING pudding
For Angelica the slut
AT FOUR IN THE MORNING
Our precious little rug rats
Everyone’s favorite brats
Our precious little rug rats
I am
Going fucking crazy
(The) Babies are so lazy
Can’t even move without bouncing balls, see
One day
They are gonna grow up
And become my worst nightmare
All cynical and garish
Fashion-obsessed yups
Our precious little rug rats
Everyone’s favorite brats
Our precious little rug rats
SONG 6: DANNY PHANTOM (KARMA POLICE) [DANNY PHANTOM]
Danny Phantom, the ghost phenom
Friendly neighborhood Danny J Phantom
He captures ghost crooks just like flies
He lives in our world, but is spectral
He becomes a ghost completely at his will
With himself, he can’t live or die
Sure, the ghosts can fly, but they still can’t hide
Danny knows their ways, and they always pay
Danny Phantom has fangirls up the ass for good reason
He’s arrogant and suave (with) hair even sleeker than his skin
Sure, the ghosts can fly, but they still can’t hide
Danny knows their ways, and they always pay
I LOVE HIS SHOW SO MUCH; PLEASE BRING IT BACK, PLEASE BRING IT BACK
I LOVE HIS SHOW SO MUCH; PLEASE BRING IT BACK, PLEASE BRING IT BACK
I LOVE HIS SHOW SO MUCH; PLEASE BRING IT BACK, PLEASE BRING IT BACK
I LOVE HIS SHOW SO MUCH; PLEASE BRING IT BACK, PLEASE BRING IT BACK
SONG 7: KIDDIER, CRAPPIER (FITTER, HAPPIER) [MODERN NICK]
Kiddier, crappier
Less cerebral
Cheap to make
Not budgeted too much
Spongebob Squarepants all day (7 days a week)
Always was far better than its vastly overrated Rocko contemporary
Admit it
Commercials (advertising microwave dinners and useless toys)
Calmer and more sterile shows
With safer jokes (no more phone-sex innuendo)
Or love motels (or frog cucks)
No adult humor
Careful to all animals (no mashing wallabies’ brains in juicers)
Never taking any risks (One Coarse Meal never existed)
Will frequently force memes in (Spongebob) episodes (most especially)
Kid shows only for little kids
Stylistic but not substantial
Censorship standing orders
Spongebob balloons at every supermarket
No intelligent satire or clever innuendo in the shows
Brainwash (America’s children)
No more Afraid Of The Dark
Or Kenan And Kel
Nothing so ridiculously nostalgia-pandering
Nothing so childish
At a lazier pace
Slower and less refined
No good shows stay
Now viewers are
Concerned (but powerless)
Empowered and informed members of society (know that our 90s era is outdated garbage)
Will constantly recite memes in public
More chance of laughter
Sitcoms that are all the same (just like on Disney Channel)
Dan Schneider’s foot fetish
Still crying at Where’s Gary
Still laughing at Face Freeze
No longer tasteful and smart
Like a teen
From the upper class
That’s proudly binge-watched
Rocko’s Modern Shit (the pretension to laugh at society)
Dumb
Kiddier, crappier and less interesting
A channel
On a deathbed
And pathetically desperate life support (known as The Loud House)
SONG 8: TEENAGE ENGINEERING (ELECTIONEERING) [MY LIFE AS A TEENAGE ROBOT]
I will save
I will save society
Once we fix my
Teenage engineering
I’ll trust myself to never spaz out
Well, my life as a
Teenage robot
Hasn’t been the best
But I now promise
I’ll save the world
And pass my robot test
Aliens
Hooligans and robots
Just like myself
Attacking Earth and I…AM…SCARED
I’ll trust my fuel to never run out
Well, my life as a
Teenage robot
Hasn’t been the best
But I now promise
I’ll save the world
And pass my robot test
SONG 9: YOU’RE THE REAL MONSTERS (CLIMBING UP THE WALLS) [AAAHH REAL MONSTERS]
We are the reason Nickelodeon
Keeps the 90s in its basement
And if we gross you out enough
You just might dry-heave your whole lunch
We are your face when you see Squidward’s
Entire toenail ripped off
Or Spongebob’s swollen, infected thumb
All spraying green garbage sludge
And even if we may
Be cancelled
We will still remain
In kids’ souls
YOU’RE THE REAL MONSTERS
We always hoped to give you nightmares
But mostly everyone just stares
(We’re) Just plain gross and annoying and weird
We never cause any real fear
So just dismiss us as a bore
Call us a Ren (And) Stimpy copy
It’s not like we haven’t heard it before
You think Rocko’s underrated? PLEASE
Even if we may
Be cancelled
We will still remain
In kids’ souls
YOU’RE THE REAL MONSTERS
YOU’RE THE REAL MONSTERS
YOU’RE THE REAL MONSTERS
SONG 10: NO MORE SPONGEBOB (NO SURPRISES) [MODERN SPONGEBOB]
The ocean’s filled up like a landfill
My salary’s pitiful
My show’s old and stale
I’m now lame and irrelevant
Please let my series end
I’m not
Funny anymore
Please let me kill myself
So I can
Rest on the classic shelf
No more stolen Rocko concepts
No more nasty gross-out cringe-fests
No more wishing I was at my best
Kill me
Kill me
This is my final flip
My final Krabby Patty
No more burger-making for me
No more hijinks with my besties
No more hunting jellyfish with glee
Such a pretty dome and such a pretty woman
No more Patrick, no more Sandy
No more Krabs and no more Squiddie
No more Plankton (and) no more of me, please
SONG 11: BRAINY (LUCKY) [JIMMY NEUTRON]
I’ve gotta blast
To my mirror
To fix
My stupid ice-cream hair
My parents say
I’m smart as hell,
But I
Do not apply myself well
Let’s see you build a rocket
Out of scraps from the yard
The junkyard, to be exact
Yeah, it’s pretty freaking hard
The principal has called for me by name
But I don’t have time for her
I’m working on my GREATEST INVENTION
It’ll make my friends smarter
Zoom into my ear canal
See my very own brain
Genius by the gallons
Ideas that might be insane
But at least they’re not inane
SONG 12: THE BORIST (THE TOURIST) [DOUG]
I impress no-one else but me
And nostalgia-tards
I guess Patty Mayonnaise may count too
And I play guitar
Hey Klotz, leave me
Alone
Idiot, leave me
Alone
Sometimes I will wear my undies
Inside out in publique
They ask me what the Hell I’m doing
(I’m) Compensating for being boring
I can always
Dream of
Being interesting
(And in)vesting
Why is my show
So tame?
Who am I kidding
I’m lame