That’d be unfortunate for him because I’m a butt flexer when I sleep. All night, even the deepest of sleeps that bring the most fantastic of dreams, my butt cheeks are constantly flexing and unflexing rhythmically, poetically. A slow ripple of muscle will start from low in the cheek, almost the hammy, and work it’s way upward in a wave motion or sometimes my booty will do a rapid fire bongo blaster and just alternate a cheek to cheek whopper plopper boing-a-boinging. Obviously, I don’t even bother sleeping with the covers on, because my ass just works them off like a caterpillar stuck on it’s back crawling across a leaf except the caterpillar is too juvenile to realize that he’s not actually walking across the leaf, he’s move the leaf past his body.
What a dummy.
That’s my night butt, a real dummy. Just twerking it’s heart out as I dream about being a kid camping in the desert, and then I get mysteriously sucked into an far distant future (though I don’t realize that for a long time) of Earth by some sort of mysterious beam of light and then surviving and thriving in that future society, just really going from zero to hero, and when I tell my friend about it, he says that that’s actually a book, like a YA novel, and that I must be thinking of that book, but I know for a fact I never read that book, so how do you explain that one, Khalil?
Then I wake up and my hams are soaked with sweat looking like a couple glazed donuts, the delicious forbidden donuts you hear about on the internet, but will never experience in real life.
If it’s not painfully apparent to you by now, and you should be ashamed if this new to you, but I record myself at night to really do a deep study on my nightly butt antics, but my overactive, nocturnal party ass isn’t nearly as interesting as the guy who seems to sneak into my room every single night and gently caress my hair. I don’t think I can stop that guy from coming in, so luckily he’s just into soft motherly love and not something more sinister.
Anyhoo, sleeping on my ass would not be fun.