You wake up on January 1st, 2017, look outside the window to see what the new year is going to bring, but something is wrong. This is not where you slept last night. You have no idea where you are, so you check your cell phone. Upon opening it, you are taken aghast. The date says May 28th 2016. Scrambling in confusion, you check you phone’s GPS. Somehow you’re in Ohio. In particular, you’re in close proximity to a certain zoo in Cincinnati. Knowing the what events are about to unfold, you spend your day hanging around the gorilla enclosure. After a while you see a child getting too close to falling in. You stop him. Harambe’s life is spared, and history is forever changed.

Since Harambe never died, he was able to continue his sercet life as an addiction counselor on the internet. Through his efforts he was able stop Jose Fernandez from giving into using cocaine and alcohol while boating, thus saving his life. Jose then went on to lead the Marlins to the World Series. Chicago’s drought continues.

The added side effect of Harambe staying alive was a lack of dank memes in his honor. This meme shortage cause a depletion in Trump’s meme magic power supply, and he loses the primary to Ted Cruz. After Hillary’s support crashes from her email scandal, Cruz looks like a lock in for presidency until new evidence comes forward revealing that he is actually the zodiac killer and is arrested. The Republicans put forth Brendan Fraser in a last-ditch effort. Brendan ends ups steam rolling Hillary when his sex tape gets released the day before the election causing him to grab all the votes in the gay community. He wins every state except Kansas.

With the meme shortage in effect, a young British memer by the name of Harry Longbottom goes bankrupt from the meme economy collapsing, and is forced to get a job at a local McDonalds. One day Boris Johnson comes in to order his usual 7 Big Macs and a diet soda. Harry messes up his order and only gives him six. Boris is outraged and tries to assault Harry, but ends up having a heart attack after a light jog while trying to reach Harry. Boris is left unable to help the leave vote and the United Kingdom remains in the EU.

The year passes and it becomes December 31st again. After the events that have transpired previously you are concerned of more paranormal intervention. You lock yourself in your room and try to stay up all night, hoping that you can avoid another time travel event, but as the midnight hour passes you mysterious fall into slumber. You awaken in the morning, but are greated by the familiar sight of your room. Still cautious, you check your phone. The date reads January 1st 2017. You’re safe. You continue your life with pride in your heart at your world-changing actions.