Everyone… I’ve done something very immoral. I would try to hide it but it would eventually get out. The authorities will likely be contacted soon. I’m telling you what I’ve done not in the hopes that you will forgive me but because I owe you all enough to tell you what I did. I’ll never forgive myself and I hope that none of you will either. Tonight, I ate three corndogs. Not one. Not two. Three. I then had the audacity to fill the rest of my plate with potato chips. My family, justifiably, were angry. I only eat once a day and with just three corndogs I am the some contributor to our massive grocery budget. I cannot apologize or try to move past this as something so evil can never be redeemed. Goodbye.