Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby declare myself the new king of r/copypasta. Why, you may ask? Well, let me tell you.

For too long, this subreddit has been filled with mediocre copypastas that fail to make us laugh, fail to make us cry, and fail to make us question the very fabric of our existence. But fear not, my fellow copypasta enthusiasts, for I am here to change all that.

I have spent countless hours scouring the depths of the internet for the finest copypastas known to man. I have studied their structure, their humor, their emotional impact, and I have distilled all that knowledge into a single, unstoppable force: me.

From this day forward, all copypastas that are posted on r/copypasta will have to meet my exacting standards. They will have to be witty, clever, and above all, original. No more will we tolerate lazy, low-effort copypastas that have been reposted a million times. No more will we settle for anything less than perfection.

So join me, my fellow copypasta enthusiasts, and let us embark on a journey to greatness. Let us create copypastas that will be remembered for generations to come. And let us never forget that I am the king of r/copypasta, and I am here to lead us to glory!