A discourse on ketchup…

People of the Reddit condiment community, for too long has the question of “what is the best condiment?” haunted us. In this post, I will outline the best condiment, objectively: mustard.


Now, you may ask “Why is mustard the best condiment?”, mustard is the best condiment because you can put it on basically any kind of salty food and that would make the salty food taste better (assuming it had more than 1 ingredient, pure bacon with mustard isn’t good).


Ketchup in particular is the worst condiment due to its sweetness, don’t get me wrong, if you mix ketchup with something else, it’s very good. But, shouldn’t it speak to the condiment that alone, not mixed, it is not good at all. Why should a sweet condiment like ketchup be going on anything? At least BBQ sauce is sweet and tangy, unlike the pure sweetness of ketchup.


The fans of ketchup as well, they are just the absolute worst people you can ever meet. It’s almost like there’s a cult surrounding ketchup, both in real life and on the internet. Anyone who dares speak down upon it will be shunned from society because it’s a basic ingredient in many foods (burgers, hot dogs, etc). Yet in Chicago, if you ask for a hot dog with ketchup, you will be sent straight to the back of the line. Chicago is the expert in hot dogs, they have immigrants from Central Europe, the originator of hot dogs.


Ketchup is by far the worst condiment that could ever be created, I must ask, “Why does ketchup exist?”. Why should some weird tomato paste combination ever be put on anything. Actual tomato sauce is great, I only have a problem with ketchup. It’s always too sweet due to the amount of sugar inside of it. The ketchup industry may only stay alive from the ketchup cult, you guys.


Please, all I ask of you is to stop using ketchup. Ketchup is objectively the worst condiment in the entirety of condiments.