Dear Sir/Madam,

We ordered two highly professional seamen from your company TheSeaManBank.com and we have run aground. These seamen are constantly drunk and thus incapable of work. Because a drunken sailor is no use to us, we want to return them and hire a different pair. Our order number is 53AY4RR.

Greetings

Captain Whackbeard and Quartermaster Duplon