You misunderstand. You assume I’m a logical and sane human being. I am not. I say dumb things before thinking. Now you might be asking yourself “Why does this moron do these things? Why doesn’t he know to just shut up?” Well, I’ll tell you why, son. Within each man lies a burning desire for greatness. No man is exempt from this aspiration. Many fall down, face in the mud, dying under the weight of their dreams. But not I. I will climb atop the mounds of pawns whose deaths I had orchestrated so I can reach my goal and fulfill my dream. And my dream is to write dumb things that make little to no sense for no good reason.

Every day I get closer to the Ultimate Fallacy. Slowly, but surely, my craft has been honed. I say incorrect things simply because I can. That’s how it starts. I go further into this insanity once probed. And then the piece de resistance: complete chaos. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and no, I am not retarded. Technically. Am I on the spectrum? Yes. Am I “insane”? Perhaps. Does God fear my power? Probably, I would if I were him. But what does this mean? What does any of this mean? I don’t know, yet I am inexorably drawn to this madness. Perhaps I incorrectly used the term “Ecchi” instead of “Yuri” on purpose because I knew it would make people fall into my miasma of insanity. Perhaps I used the wrong term because I hardly even like anime or manga and seriously there are so many fucking terms that it makes my head spin. Or, perhaps, I don’t exist. Perhaps you don’t exist. Perhaps I’m all alone and have created means to entertain me withing my realm. Whether or not it’s true is irrelevant, though. All that truly matters to me is my Dream and Yaoi Hands.

I love Yaoi Hands. I want some big ol’ Yaoi Hands to grab my and just jostle me around. The longer and more spindley the better. I want some fuckin’ E.T. fingers, none of those big-palmed BS. I want arms longer than their spines. I want to be able to sit in a person’s palm. I want to see someone with Yaoi Hands try and pick their nose and accidentally scratch their brain. Yaoi Hands are so fascinating to me, you know. They’re just so… handy, I guess. The Hand is the gateway to the Soul, or so scholars had once said before the Eye lobby spread false propaganda against them. I cry whenever I remember the injustices dealt to all the hand models whose livelihoods were cruelly cut short due to the toxicity of those bigoted fascists. But you gotta hand it to them, they were thorough. Nowadays vile propaganda paint innocent hand fetishists in a despicable light. There’s nothing wrong with loving hands! There’s nothing wrong with murdering people, severing their hands and making sweet love to them! This is injustice and bigotry! It’s 2018, tbh I thought we as a society had progressed to the point where we were better than this. But I guess that’s not so, and I weep for our cultural [loss](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/143/193/cad-20080602-358b1.jpg?1309710446) .