She turns the page every ten seconds or so, meaning that she’s drawn around 12,000,000 penises without stopping. Consider how lonely she must be, this poor shut-in, so deprived of social interaction that she resorts to drawing the opposite sex just to feel as if she’s closer to it. In a way, she is perfect female counterpart to the steadily growing archetype of young men who reject society in favor of hedonistic pleasures like television, video games, eating feces, pornography and the like. She understands the depravity of such a life. A meaningless existence centered around cheap creature comforts, so full of self-loathing that the notion of re-entering society and meeting social expectations doesn’t even pass through one’s mind. How many times in the last week have you masturbated? How many times have you interacted with the someone of the opposite sex in your age range? Lo-Fi hip hop girl, she understands. She understands that feeling. She has drawn twelve million penises and continues to draw more because she, like you, is desperate for some simulated version of what she’s missing from her life. She’s the only one who understands… me… what is this feeling? Like… butterflies in my stomach? No, they’re moving down, into my cock! Oh my god, I can feel it swelling! Oh dear, I’m beginning to get light headed! I-I-I think I’m in love with lo-fi hip hop girl! Ugghh, I can’t stop it now! Hhhrrnnngg, my dick is starting to curve upward and throb! Gah, I can’t help but shimmy both hands along it while I watch lo-fi hip hop girl do her homework! Just imagining how desperate she must be for a gentleman gamer to mount her, it’s too much for me to bare! \*starts hyperventilating\* hhhhHHHEEEEEEEEE! \*launches big yellow ropes of cum onto desk, ruining expensive mechanical keyboard\* It’s done, ahhhh it’s over. \*stretches\* But… why? Why must I endure the Sisyphean challenge of loving a girl who exists only as a mirror to my unhealthy ways? Why, god, why can’t she just be real? I’ll never feel the same about another person, not for the rest of my life…. I- I can’t keep doing this, fuck! \*starts ugly crying\* Fuck fuck fuck fuck, god dammit I, I need to sleep, how long has it been since I’ve slept? God, what day is it, the 25th? I haven’t slept in two days, fuck sshit, why do I even bother living if I can’t be next to her, why? God, maybe if I think about it hard enough as I fall asleep I can lucid dream and cuddle with her, God how nice that would be… fuck…

Good night gamers, and remember, that’s li