Who is getting the best head? It’s a question the smartest people in Earth have been asking for years. Some people have tricked others with very well presented “evidence,” that Alvin, or Simon or Theodore is getting the best head, I have the answer. The answer is none of them. Let me explain.

Anyone who has watched the entire cinematic series of Alvin and the Chipmunks will know that the 3 chips are infamous drug dealers and rapists. They finally got caught in November of 2016 when they were raping some squirrels on the side of the road. They were arrested and found guilty of 75 accounts of Drug Dealing and Human Trafficking in the State of Colorado from 2013-2015. They were sentenced to death and executed before they could even get the head. Now, Brittany, Jeanette, and Eleanor live in depression, in poverty and homelessness. They lived off of the Chipmunks’ business, and now they have nothing. They are now fulfilling sexual pleasures to get money and live, and as they give head to the fat middle aged Chipmunks, they look forward to their death, when they’ll be able to give the Chipmunks head forever, in the depths of hell.