So today I was heading to the convenience store on my mobility scooter to pick up some Doritos when I passed by a church. I figured this was a prime time to prove my mental superiority to those inside so I brushed off my Rick and morty t-shirt and headed in. They were in the middle of a ceremony but when I slammed open the door they all turned to stare at my perfectly healthy 500 pound frame. I tipped my fedora to the first lady I saw and gave her one of my patented sexy winks. I then proceeded to take a grand breath before demonstrating my scientific mastery of and complete understanding of the universe. In my booming and valiant voice I said “actually god isn’t real and your whole religion is a lie.” Everyone’s mouths dropped to the floor and the priests eyes were the size of pie plates. I tipped my fedora goodbye and then eased myself into my scooter before rolling away. As soon as I left I clawed out my cheese stained iPhone, eager from all the karma I would get from posting this to r/atheism.