Once upon a time, there was a royal family of pigs. The Queen and the King had three children who were pigs also. The three pigs had been taught to hate the wolves, and their menacing jaws that tore little pigs like them apart.

When the pigs grew older and their parents passed away, they had a quarrel over who should inherit the kingdom, so they decided to have a vote for who should be elected as King over all the land. When the polls came, it was a perfect three-way tie.

The three pigs decided to split the land, but they could never agree on the boundaries of the sub-kingdoms because of their pride. “I shall have the biggest piece, because of my wisdom” said the eldest of the three. “I should have the biggest piece, because of my strength”, said the youngest.

After a long night of bickering, the pigs finally decided on boundaries. The nation was split evenly based on the population that was in their zone. However, some of the population in each pig’s zone did not want that pig as their ruler, and there were many petty fights between citizens over who would be a ruler.

During all this bickering and uprisings, the now-split nation never saw the great army amassing in Isengard. Ever since their society had collapsed, the wolves could only survive by pillaging neighboring nations.

The youngest pig was the first to be attacked by the wolves. Because he had underfunded his army due to the lack of taxes and half-Marxist society, they could not withstand the enormous huffs and puffs of wind that the mass of the wolves created, so the youngest pig and his most trusted advisor sook refuge in the second oldest’s kingdom.

After the second pig found his brother on his land, he threw him in prison for not having a passport and trespassing in his kingdom. THe youngest pig tried to warn his brother, but he was too prideful. The second oldest pig, who had instilled a communist economic system in his kingdom, had no army, only volunteers who had no idea how to fight wolves, so they failed too.

The second oldest brother had barely bought enough time to evacuate the city and grab the youngest of the trio that had once worked so hard together while their parents were still alive. The two cried and hugged, asking each other why they would ever separate themselves from family. But this only lasted for a few seconds, as the wolves were in hot pursuit.

The two, now united sub-countries, sook refuge in the eldest pig’s kingdom, hoping for hospitality. The eldest pig greeted them with a warm welcome. His capitalist country was flourishing. After the youngest and second oldest spoke to the eldest in private about the wolves, he immediately gathered his army. They were very neatly organized in barracks and ranks.

The eldest pig taxed each of his citizens fairly so he could have a flourishing country with clean roads, food, libraries, schools, and a perfectly-trained army. The specialized army had a vast superiority over the savage group of wolves. The wolves retreated, frightened by the pigs’ superiority in battle. Even the biggest and the baddest of the wolves could not stand against a perfectly made, balanced capitalist society.